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Zander's Place

The point of transition - be it social, emotional or medical - is not to change from one sex to the other. It's about being comfortable and at peace with yourself. My goal is not "to get a penis," or "become a man," (because I am a man) but is instead, get more comfortable in my identity and body.

The Sorry State of Transgender Health Care (Huffington Post, July 10, 2010)

My documentation of my physical transition is 99.9% for myself. And I'm not posting any of this for validation - just information. When I started T, I kept a hand-written journal for about three months, and then I got lazy. I update my LiveJournal when I notice some interesting physical or emotional changes, and take photos and record voice clips.

I identify as transsexual because it's my sex that's changing. Not my gender (sex is between the legs, gender is between the ears) So there you have it, my take on the differences between 'transgender' and 'transsexual.' And I do not, at all, consider myself to have been born "in the wrong body." It's not like SRS involves a brain transplant or something :-P

Aside from hang-ups about my chest because I'm still pre-op, I'm okay with my body as it is. For a while I was interested in getting lower surgery, but with the changes brought on by testosterone I'm at peace with my junk. Although I'm keeping myself open to the possibility that it may be for me someday.

If this still isn't enough info for you, might I suggest this site? Or perhaps this? I especially recommend this. And for funsies, you should check this!

And most importantly, this.

How I Feel About Being Trans

There's that famous stereotype that's plastered all over the media: "I'm a man trapped in a woman's body." There's the attitude that being a transsexual or transgender person sucks. But these don't apply to me. While those feelings are completely valid for other people, I don't hate being trans. I'm not better than people who consider it a curse or mistake - I honestly have no idea how to best describe it. For me, it just is. "Okay, I was assigned female at birth. I don't identify that way at all. I'd feel better if I socially and medically transitioned."

What makes it suck at all are the negative attitudes both within and outside the trans community. Gender policing sucks. Measuring whether someone's a "real" man or "real" woman, or "trans enough" by hormones and surgeries sucks. When a trans woman gets criticized because she's not considered "feminine enough," that sucks. When a non-trans guy who doesn't even watch sports feels that he can rip on a trans guy for not fitting every single male stereotype, that sucks. When trans people don't get proper medical care, or are too afraid to go to the hospital because they're worried that the staff will treat them like crap or refuse to treat them at all, that sucks. When trans people have to agonize over their how they present, which public bathroom to use, when or if they should disclose if they're on a date or applying for a job, whether or not they could be harassed, beaten up or killed when they're on their way to or from home, that sucks.

But how I relate to this part of me... it's not a bad or good thing. It's just a part of my identity. That's not to say that it's as minimal as, say, my eye color, because it's actually really fucking important (See MTPC and Trans Day of Remembrance). But I don't feel cursed, or like G-d screwed up or something, nor am I "enlightened," or above cis people just because my experience is unique to theirs.