Quote your friends, family and co-workers out of context. Also see IRCDQT for kick-ass IRC quotes! :P Reply
Abe: Yeah, I crammed so much wood in that little pipe. Reply
Emily Hathaway: Why are they all stretched out?
Reply
That's like two walruses trying to hump a rock.
-Jordan Levine Reply
i don't know much about video games, but i have the feeling being dead isn't a good thing.
-lani Reply
Everything is harder with breasts.
Ben Reply
My sex is F. I got an F in sex?
Reply
As we were walking into my neighborhood after a rainy morning: Reply
Dylan: Your area is really nice when it's wet like this. Reply
Reply
I just had a terrible thought. imagine if I'd had dreads then and jizz had gotten in them? —Signe Reply
Renna's English teacher: Air conditioning is the best invention EVER. I dare you to try to think of something better. Reply
Renna: The printing press? Coffee? Chocolate? Reply
English Teacher: AC is better. Reply
English Teacher: *silence* Fine. Reply
cameron I want to leave my cat basement and come be homeless with you! Reply
Dylan: Are you lying on me? Reply
JuliaL: Noooo, what would make you think that? Reply
Dylan: I dunno, maybe the fact that you're LYING ON ME? Reply
The Next Day: Reply
Dylan: She had a messenger bag! Reply
Dylan: Oh, right, because cute androgynous girls always have messenger bags. Reply
KelseyA's friend Alysha: I'm sure I meant to eat it when I put it in there but then I took my pants off. Reply
Poop is very serious business.
~BlueberryEmily Reply
I'm either going to get boobies, or turn into a superhero.
-Emily H. Reply
Oh shoot! I have to build a gin still!
-Fishy (JuliaL's younger sister) Reply
Guys! Eat me! I'm perfect!
-Fishy again Reply
-i use penile pronouns...
— a smyrc youth, meaning to say female pronouns
, but distracted and stumbling on words Reply
-she's single, which i think is more important than the fact that she's straight.
— anna Reply
-the bdsm stays in the kitchen!
—garrick Reply
Could somebody fix my random bold type in my post below Diana's? I tried but I can't figure out what's making it do that. Ruth (—Thursday) Reply
After Renna helps someone in her English class with their vocabulary work: Reply
Wow...She's got a hella fucking vocabulary and shit!
| Ryland's friend Diana: | I supose you already know this, but he really really doesn't like things put in his butt! |
|---|---|
| Ryland: | No, that's news to me, why did he bring this up? |
it's a ridiculous waste of time for something that looks like someone crossed cubical pyrite and a carrot
Reply
| DianaBanana: | What's Chef Boyardeen? |
|---|---|
| Max, Diana's roommate: | "Okay, you don't know anything about growing up in a non-hippie family whatsoever." |
Reply
- I can't say anything anymore in front of Rebecca without it appearing on wiki 5 minutes later.
OK,Thursday has lots of quotes written inside her wardrobe door, as she is not much of a rebel and will only do graffiti, not even on her own furniture, but INSIDE her own furniture. Anyway, here's the ones from people she knows. There's also Ani and the Bible and stuff, but they're not for this page. Reply
| Thursday's friend Ninja's friend from school: | ‘Hey, Eimear, nice hat.’ |
|---|---|
| Ninja: | ‘Thank you. I find it goes nicely with my disdain for reality.’ |
Ninja again: 'What is the difference between deprived and depraved?' (general giggling) Another friend, called Chris: 'Well, orphans are deprived, whereas orphan-eaters are depraved.' Reply
Chris's MSN, when he changed his MSN name to God: 'God may not reply, as his or her status is set to Busy.' and 'God is writing a message.' Reply
Thursday's friend Eimear (the one who isn't also known as Ninja): 'I might regret this in the morning, but I don't regret it now!' 'A little verbal cross-dressing never hurt anyone.' and, of a debate - not a football match, a debate on whether art was useless in society: 'I can't remember which side I was on, only that we won.' Reply
Yeah, the happy ending got cut for time. -Someone in Thursday Ruth's playwriting group during the Q and A after our rehearsed readings. Reply
ARGH! It's digging into my head!
~a guy in my theatre company, referring to someone else trying to put a headband on him in the dark Reply
Susannah: My music is falling out of your pants. Reply
Hannah (Susannah's friend): There's a sentance you don't hear very often. Reply
""Planet Earth...brought to you by Bank of America."" -A high school science class movie Reply
Just pull my pants down, will you?
-Overheard being said by a girl to a guy at a basketball game Reply
Mariam (Aria's friend): Listen to some of my advice on relationships! Reply
Aria: Oh no I don't think I should be listening to this! Reply
Symmetry: I just use "anarchist
to mean good person.
Reply
Get your skinny ass over here! Wait, what am I smoking?
-A friend, to another friend who doesn't have a very skinny ass (to put it nicely) Reply
They should just mack already.
-Paige's friend Amy about Mary Poppins and Bert Reply
Remember you can spoon but you can't fork
Staff skit session 1 07
Renna's mom: "Tengo hombre...that's either I have hunger or I have a man.
" Reply
Renna: "But you don't have either!
" Reply
Renna: "I miss the hot boys!
" Reply
later Reply
Renna: "Julia?
" Reply
Julia: "Do you miss the hot boys?
" Reply
Because i can do this... oh wait i can't find your ass
Patrick G himself.
Zack says “I can has Salem child porn poodle breeder care home?” Reply
It's changable, I can make it cleavag-y, or i can make it not kill my breasts. it's perfect!
Reply
(a girl talking to her mom while bra shopping) Reply
two girls talking about oral sex Reply
| Girl 1: | It's like sucking a lollipop... |
|---|---|
| Girl 2: | "Then why not make him go masturbate in a corner while you suck on a lollipop, naked? You can just SAY that you guys had oral..." |
The universe is out to undress me!
-Renna Reply
Ummm... why are you taking my pants off?
Ben P. to Julie (who was borrowing a pair of his pants at the time). -Julie Reply
In a conversation about sex toys, with an anarcha-femanist friend: Reply
Diana, in disbelief: "You use phallic objects to pleasure yourself?!?
" Reply
The friend: "No, I use phallic objects to pleasure other people.
" Reply
Abbi is a hard ass, with a soft ass....wait. Nevermind. (Blake to his advisee, session two) Reply
Mr.Tom(my cem lab teacher):Now I will take my balls of steal and demonstrate centripetal force
—Storm Reply
"Where's my buffalo?
"-Emmie Reply
"That's like Oregon Trail.
"
pause
"You have lost one buffalo and died of dysentery.
"-Zena Reply
Faye: ""I can't be independant with out you guys!
"" Reply
Two people talking about freak dancing/grinding Reply
""Well it's technically dancing...not really
"" Reply
""No, it is. A lot of things are dancing!
"" Reply
""You're kind of on top of me.
"" Reply
""You're on top of me again.
"" Reply
""So are you!
"" Reply
It's like safe sex, except it's food so not really.
-Zena, regarding vegan cupcakes being salmonella-free Reply
Person 1: Harper, I'm having trouble swallowing! Reply
Earlier that day... Person 1: How come she gets some? Person 2: Someone has to clean the spoon Reply
(person 1 is Faye and 2 is Harper) Reply
The more tired we get, the wittier we think we are, but actualy we're just being stupid. We just don't know it.
(said at four.am when person was reeeaaaaaalllly tired) Reply
A science teacher: It has been around since it evolved, and will be around unill it's extinct.
Reply
Faye: Really?? No shit!
Reply
You can do it in between there.
Reply
Is it rape if I don't care? It's not consent, but it's not objection either...
Reply
Me: She looks like a man... in a good way! Reply
Rebecca G.: There's no such thing as looking like a man in a good way! Reply
-Diana Reply
...we are all for sexual expression, and as your staff we are always available.................don't quote that.
-the one and only Grace, at session 1 2007 Reply
(I had to.) Reply
(In a nudity discussion workshop Molly held) Reply
If you're nude, and you spark something Sexual, you're Fucked.
-billy Reply
Random conversation my friend and I cut into on the phone Reply
Woman- Like, if I knew my hair would grow back its original colour I would have dyed it blue or something!
Reply
0.o - India ♥ Reply
Morgaine Green said this at camp when i accidently touched her. Reply
Everyone was like *what* and she clarified, don't really remember what she said after. -FionaC Reply
| Joe: | I want a Hummer. |
|---|---|
| Dad: | (does nothing) |
| Forest: | See, he wasn't just eating a Hummer. |
Joshua: “You can tear down the Berlin Wall next weekend.” Reply
Chris: “Aww, but I wanted to liberate East Germany!” Reply
Erin: I never saw saw, and I never will see saw
Reply
Zen: You wanna feel how long this is?
Reply
| Ethan: | She's cute. I have to try to be charming. So nyah...it's in my contract. |
|---|---|
| Newt: | You're contract? As a male...as a heterosexual male... |
| Ethan: | ".../mostly/ heterosexual male..." |
| Newt: | "as a heterosexual male who likes penises..." |
:) Reply
Sam: Stupid Symantec! Reply
Joshua: you have Symantec installed? Why? Reply
Sam: It was free! Reply
Joshua: So is Herpes! Reply
Daniel (Cassia's boyfriend): Do your homework! Reply
Cassia: I don't want to. *cracks her back* Ow! Reply
Daniel: Don't even start, I'll just argue with myself for you. I can't do my homework now.
Why not?
My back hurts.
How is that stopping you from doing your homework?
My back is directly connected to my eyes, so I can't read...but I can play Puzzle Pirates!
How does that work?
nyeeheeheehee (Cassia's silly laughter)
Cassia?
nyeeheeheehee! ...I want chocolate.
Did I imitate you pretty accurately? Reply
Cassia: ...nyeeheeheeheeheehee! Reply
Ethan + Newt + 50 hours = the following Reply
E: whimper N: Oh, come on, I don't abuse you that much Reply
E: There's no ass like zine ass. Reply
:) Reply
'The last thing anyone wants is a bitch slap from outerspace.' -Kristin, a friend of Bean's Reply
Biological chemistry is like an oasis...
-Solomon, a friend of Newt's Reply
Jack: I hope other people like this song and its not just musical masturbation
Reply
Neal: Well, I like it too, so we've at least reached musical gay sex.
Reply
Molly's friend E, to Molly: I love you. You're like sex to my banana.
Reply
A little person to Kelsey:
What does intuition mean again? ...is it something you pay monthly?
Reply
Newt to Ethan: I like your bottom lip. And your penis. The rest of you can leave. I just want your bottom lip and penis. Reply
Newt: It's like, O-oh, you have a well-behaved labia
. Reply
Ethan (Newt's friend): ::whip sound:: Down labia! Watch as my labia jumps through a burning hoop of fire! Reply
Janet: I'm not vicki Reply
Tristan(Janet's friend): Yeah well you guys keep calling me Tristan! Reply
Janet: Ummm thats because it's your name Reply
Newt: Why do you have a yam on your coffe table? Reply
Cosmo and Rebecca F.: *laugh* Reply
Morgan: Read a magazine, hold a yam, life is good. Reply
Rebecca, talking about a boy she met on the train: So yeah, we talked for a little bit before I got off. Reply
Erin, a cooworker of Rebecca's: He had to talk for you to get off? Reply
Rebecca: ...That's usually the way it works. Reply
Erin: Not me, I just have to look. *looks back at her computer* Oh, I'm already there! Reply
| A Mom: | Every picture I have of you you're pointing, and usually at your boob. |
|---|---|
| Me: | Am I really? |
| A friend: | Mom, she wasn't pointing at her boob, she was pointing at her cup |
- Ellen Reply
Zack: ... but I didn't like it, so I removed it.
Reply
Marina: You dissected it??
Reply
Zack: No, I gave it a tracheotomy. It basically had a kazoo stuffed down its throat.
Reply
Cameron R. as Sierra gives him a back massage while having to sit on him straddled:
So, Sierra, tell me again... Why is it you don't have a boyfriend?
Reply
| Anna: | Will you strip naked and paint yourself completely red with me? |
|---|---|
| Noa: | No! Are you serious? |
| Anna: | What if we paint ourselves yellow? |
| Noa: | No. |
| Anna: | Pink? |
| Noa: | NO! |
| Anna: | Green? |
| Noa: | No... |
| Anna: | Purple? |
| Noa: | Maybe...yeah, O.K. |
Eating Raisin Bran is the only time you actually get excited about eating a raisin..."Oh yay! A raisin!
" -Arne Reply
Layers within layers, wheels within wheels... Jamie is a devious bitch.
Reply
Figs within... what???
Reply
(Victor and Zack) Reply
It's like Burts Bee's on Steroids!
~A friend of Anya's at collage Reply
| Dustin: | How old is cheese? |
|---|---|
| Joshua: | "I don't know. Very old. Thousands of years old." |
| Dustin: | "Oh." |
| Joshua: | "Older than Jesus." |
| Dustin: | "... older than Jesus?!" |
| Nathaniel: | I'm having cereal in bed. |
|---|---|
| Joshua: | I always knew you were a rebel. |
| Nathaniel: | WITH A FORK. |
| Alex: | Don't poke me with that! |
|---|---|
| Jamie: | "Well, don't look at my crotch!" |
Marina says “Also, unless I'm mistaken, Baywatch had very few explosions. Let alone spaceships.” Reply
Wait until they all love you, and then you can probably have your way with them.
—Kayla's mom Reply
-Do you wear Lindsey to school? -Yeah! I feel really weird without him! Reply
One of these people was me. It was the slightly less strange-sounding one. —Thursday Reply
| Lila: | (shaking magic eightball) Does the Eightball know my middile name? |
|---|---|
| Forest: | Rose? |
| Liia: | (reading eightball) it is certain..... You told it dumbass! |
Before having sex, make sure you're healthy enough to have sex — Viagra commercial Reply
My sis Diana to my brother: Erik, get out of my pants!
- TheOtherJulia Reply
And this is how you undress.
- A friend of TheOtherJulia 's who prefers to remain anonymous Reply
He's not wearing pants! But then, neither am I.
- TheOtherJulia Reply
Joshua: Why can't I get paid for making Buffy jokes all day? Reply
One Dad: Is this some kind of dance? Reply
Another Dad: I think this is some rare form of body haiku. Reply
however, if your friends judge you by the kind of iv pole you drive, they're not really your friends.
—kim's nurse, on kim's new cadillac
pole Reply
we'll be around the corner in the ally playing chess
—a friend of Ryland's Reply
haha, minions! i've always wanted minions!
—kim, from her hospital bed Reply
well, one's a medicine, and the other's a blood product. kind of like a cheese product, but with blood.
—kim again Reply
Cate: Do you think it'd be, like totally rude to give him the finger? Reply
like totally rudeto give someone the finger. —Joe
Neil (Henry and Cora's friend): So, basically the bible says sex is impure? Reply
Henry: Seems like it. Reply
Neil: Fuck the Bible! Reply
Rebecca: Well, if I can't have a gecko pie, I guess a snake muffin is a decent substitute. Reply
Anya: All the guys are like Sex sex sex sex!
Reply
Peytie: My uterus is shedding its inner lining right now, so I'm kinda in a bad mood. Reply
Casey: We're having hate lust sex! Reply
Trevor: Girls can be wrong sometimes. Reply
Jeb: When I die, I want to be turned into marble. And carved into genitals. Reply
Nikiah: No, I'm serious, don't get a knife. Don't get a knife. You're frrreaking me out, don't get a knife. —Kayla Reply
Garrick: I've taught my mother things about sex.
Reply
Never fuck anything you wouldn't wanna be.
Quoted from Kate Bornstein, who quoted it from somebody else's dying grandmother. Or, for a little variation, you could say, never be anything you wouldn't wanna fuck.
-DianaBanana Reply
The shelf tags are like sperm! Reply
Blake: Dude, you're gonna burn in hell....It says so in the Constitution.
Reply
Renna: Besides, even if I was lying, I wouldn't tell you the truth.
Reply
Storm and one of her friends talking about her ex Reply
Taylor: He was a jerk any way and he tends to break every thing he touches Reply
Me(Storm):I know Reply
Taylor: hey why are you still hear Reply
2am in Faye's landlords hottub that is ten degrees too cold. Reply
Renna: I'm cold! Reply
Faye: You're in a hottub. Reply
Renna: I'm still cold! Reply
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot. The world forgetting, by the world forgot! ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND. Each pray'r accpeted, Each wish resigned. ~ Alexandra Pope~ Reply
(It's 2AM!!!!) Reply
-Lynn. Reply
Grace @ NBTSC
we are a very sex positive staff, we like sex, so you should feel free to come to us if you need anything, we're all availab-DON'T QUOTE THAT!
Reply
guy 1: oh man you know when you pee and feels soo good you have to brace yourself up on wall. Reply
guy 2: oh yeah i love that, sometimes i hold it in on long car rides just to get that. Reply
guy 1: so what if when you die and go to heaven that all it is, just peeing like that 24/7? Reply
guy 2: that would kick so much ass. Reply
—overheard this in the bathroom-Conor G. Reply
anonymous:so right now i'm bleeding. Reply
a mom:oh? from your ear?(she just had her ear pierced) Reply
anon:no, my vagina. Reply
mom:.....oh. Reply
Billy Talking to Asher Billy- Hey there babe how much does a polar bear wight? Asher- *blank look* Billy- Enough to break the ice hi im Billy Reply
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