Check In (v1.451)

Hi everyone, Don't even know if anyone here still remembers me, but I remember you! Or at least...I know the space. I've been here before. I had pink hair and silver shoes and fairy wings too. Today it is a gray day in Southern California and I am thinking about community. I was trying to explain campers to my fiance, who didn't understand that no matter where I go in the world I feel like I have family to stay with. Just the fact that we were at the same camp at some point means we've earned a spot on each other's couches forever. Someone said that at their graduation one year, and I've never forgotten it. So it feels so good to come back here to wiki and know that it's still going. Reply

I think I will stop by poetry marathon next. It's been a really long time since I started that page. I feel like I'm wandering around a city I used to live in, not just a collection of web pages. Reply

In any case, I am getting married this summer to my best friend of the last 5 years, and I am happy at my core but all over the surface I have all of these wonderings about individuality and keeping true to myself scurrying around. He's the only person I've ever been with who wants me to be as independent as I can be, and I still wonder how, sometimes. I think about moulin rouge and the dozens of times I heard the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return and you know, I think it's true. Reply

I work with adults with developmental disabilities planning special events and travel opportunities, I lived in Alaska for a summer, I was proposed to at Top Chef Michael Voltaggio's restaurant, I started the seeds for my garden this week, I have two German Shepherds, one of whom is 1 year old and going through intensive training, and I learned how to love to cook. Reply

That's all from me for now. I'm on facebook, twitter and etsy as royaboya, and I have a blog at royaboya.blogspot.com if you're interested. Reply

So very glad you are all still around, Reply

—Roya Reply

Roya, I never met you, but I've been a fan of your poetry and writing for a long long time. This post made me smile. -AndyP

So my life is pretty much the same as usual, not too much interesting stuff, mostly just anticipation for all the amazing things to happen this year! I signed up for camp- the full two week West Coast session and both VT sessions and I just KNOW I'm going to have the best time of my life. I'm going snowboarding in CO in a week, I'm flying to see Signe in May, Nahele and Rainbow will probably drop down on their way to Florida and I think I'll get Elijah over and we'll have a Lord of the Rings marathon, I'm going to London, Connecticut, and I'm determined to see Kelsey A and Jake O sometime before camp! Hmmmm what has happened lately... I went to get my eyebrow pierced but couldn't because we didn't have identification proving that my mom was really my mom. So she was all It wasn't meant to be and I'm probably not getting it until April or May, which is fine but I'm in that mood where I just want it NOW. I was supposed to get braces two days ago, but that didn't work out, and now I'm getting them March 17. Which sucks because (again) I just want them NOW. I was supposed to get braces two years ago and we finally took action and I just want to be able to smile without being ridiculously self conscious. I ALMOST went to see Kayla and Nikiah but didn't get to. One of my friends slept over last weekend and accidentally locked my cats in the kitchen with my birds. So I woke up, went downstairs to make breakfast and just started sobbing hysterically at the sight of my slaughtered parakeets. Instead of going shopping for a sweater, I scrubbed blood and feathers out of the cracks in the floor. My mom blames me for this, so that hasn't been the best, but I think she's gotten over it. I had a really nice shopping day with her, we got stuff from places we don't usually shop at like Guess, Club Monaco, BCBGMAXAZRIA and ZARA, and that made me really happy. Then we went to dinner and we had an awful fight about Oona, this woman who used to live with us. So it was her telling me that it was my fault that she no longer had a boyfriend, and I'm a backstabber that she can never trust. All because I want to keep in contact with someone who meant a lot to me. I met a really cute guy at Hot Topic: clean-cut, glasses, cute smile, no piercings or tattoos, I wouldn't have guessed that he worked there, and we talked for about half an hour about The White Stripes, Death Cab for Cutie, The Beatles, Vampire Weekend, etc. He's most likely 18 or older, which is too bad, but I hope to see him again this weekend. I'm hoping that my best friend from camp Maddie Pryor will be visiting me next month- we plan to saunter around in evening gowns, flutter Japanese fans, seductively drink Slurpees, dance through town and have carpet picnics with tea and have long conversations about boys and camp and noodles. I'm getting a bit pissed off because my mom keeps telling me I can't eat junk food and Oh that's too many carbs, You can't have dumplings AND lo mein it's not for weight reasons, she just only wants me to eat healthy food, which I wish was easier for me, but I'm drawn to the sugar and salty fried things... I'm going to be taking dance classes at LaB in Philly soon, and also hopefully starting cello lessons! I think that's all. This is a very long update. ~Zara Reply

Half of this should possibly be on BulletinBoard, but I figured I'd keep it all in one place. Reply

Anyway, I don't know who on here remembers me. I went to Oregon session 2 in 2007, and haven't been able to go since, because I'm in college, and school always started before session one would've been over. Made me very sad. :( There is a chance that I will be coming to Oregon this year, but I'm not sure yet. I really have no idea what I'm going to be doing next year, so. Reply

Anyway, my other thing is that I wanted to share my blog with you all, because it might be of interest to you. It's all about how much I dislike compulsory school and how awesome life is in general. I'm really influenced by John Taylor Gatto, John Holt, and of course Grace. Anyway, I think you all should check it out if you're interested. http://53minutes.blogspot.com Reply

Cheers! —Paige Reply

I feel romantic today. Like, really romantic. I've got 'Love is all I am' by Dawes stuck in my head today. That's how fucking romantic I feel. —Nola :) Reply

Everyone should SqueezeHarper right this very moment. Reply

But don't tell him I sent you. It's a secret. Reply

Tattooed! Holy crap don't ever get a 6 inch tattoo in one sitting. Woooow it hurts. Other then that, lifes a bitch like usual and I'm just rolling with the punches. —CeCi Reply

I'm a mildly interesting mixture of not ok and very good. Reply

apparently we're actually moving into the new house in the next few weeks, about a year after we were originally supposed to. and to be honest, I have no faith that we'll be in there anytime soon. It's just been pushed back so many times. Reply

I just send one of my creepy slam poem things to Jesus, on her request. It's actually a little odd because no one but her (and now anyone on her facebook) knows I write them. I guess I'm embarrassed or something. Reply

I'm so excited for the autodidact symposium I can hardly stand it. there are going to be so many badass people there! Reply

I'm also obsessed with the band White Shoes and The Couple's Company. Look 'em up. 'Senandung Maaf' and 'Windu & Defrina' are the best songs of theirs. That I know of anyway. Reply

I've been feeling very inspired to to art that's not photography recently, but haven't really done any. Reply

I really, really, really want to learn to develope my own film. And then I want to do things with glitter and stuff. I love glitter. Reply

Ok, that's all for now. Even though that was a pretty shitty update really. oh well. —Signe Reply

This is Roxyrix, Naombooboo, and Jesus. Reply

Roxyrix ran around and laughed and smiled and danced and was her regular cute self today. Reply

Jesus taught everyone how to play guitar today. Thank you, Jesus! Reply

Naombooboo made vegan mexican wedding cookies with everyone, and made funny faces. Hah!? Reply

So we're all okay. Okay encompasses how we are feeling. Briar is here, and Briar is a man that we know all NBTSCers would love. Reply

He loves, respects, and shows huge amounts of affection for all ladies. And men! Reply

He writes and draws funny things, and is very, very funny. Funnyman. Reply

He's Jesus's future roomate. Reply

He knows all kinds of cool things. Like 3 billion cups of tea are drunk every day, all round za world. Reply

His name is Briar Zephyr Montana Diego Forest Hill Love Breidenbach Fukuong. We jokejoke you not. Reply

Anyway, love for everyone. ☪ Reply

I woke up this morning and saw him and I realised how much I really do love him, I am happier then ever =) Reply

New years resolutions kids! so i'm going to love people un hesatatedly (soooonotaword) seriously. for cool. happy new year luvs. —DanielleT Reply

I discovered this community 9 years ago, that is totally crazy to me now. I'm lying on my friends couch, bumming around on the internet and wanted to post something, where someone would read it, even if they didn't understand what I was talking about. So here I am, on wiki of course. I have this memory of the beginning of poetry marathon and of meeting people who changed my life and gave me hope and love and community. At some point, along the way, this community became my family. And for that, I will forever be grateful. Reply

I haven't posted on here in a little while, I've just been ah lurkin' an' ah creepin'. yes. Reply

I've been feel a tad better in the past few days. except only sort of. Reply

Unschool Adventures is currently on the trip I begged them to run, with two of my best friends on it, while I paint window trim here. Not that I don't like painting, but yeah. I'm pretty fucking bummed. oh well, there's always the next trip. Reply

I'm going to Cameron's conference in March with my mother, which my both looking forward to like crazy and am a tiny bit nervous about. Reply

reasons I'm happy: I get to see a ton of my best friends and listen to interesting people talk about things I like. Not a lot's better than that. Reply

reason I'm nervous: other than Jeff, Laura D., Izzy and Liam briefly, mum's never met any of my camp friends, so it makes me a little nervous in case... in case what really? I guess I'm scared she won't like them or something. Which is silly because she will. But I'm a worrier. Reply

While in SC I'm going to finally get my industrial pierced, after thinking about it for a year or so. I'll keep you posted about that. Reply

Like ZaraC said below me, she's coming to visit in May. Which is beyond thrilling. <3 Reply

hm, what else? we have family visiting right now which is nice. my mother and brother saw them while I was at camp but I hadn't seen them for three years or so. I re-dyed my cousin's streaks pink for her and redid my chunk of pink. Reply

I'm in a really weird mood and should probably sleep since it's 2.44am here... —Signe Reply

So. It's my fifteenth birthday today. It was okay. I had a big fight with my mom... I went to my friend's house and we had ice cream cake and watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off which was really nice. Then we went to my grandmother's to visit, and I got a new pair of boots, two journals, some other stuff, and my dad gave me the Buffy Chosen Set, which I absolutely love. I've been kinda on the verge of breakdown lately, just too much upsetting, stressful has been going on. Luckily I have friends that listen to me rant, and venting is quite helpful. I had a party with campers a few weeks ago and it was wonderful. We watched movies, cuddled, played Twister and truth or dare, ice skated sans ice skates, ate pizza, stir fry and gelato, decorated a canvas and drank lots and lots of tea. We also played guitar (I'm slowly getting over my fear of singing in front of people) and I got to blow out birthday candles twice! There was a moment (a few actually) when I was so comfortable and happy and I thought Wow. These are the kind of people I want in my life. I'm incredibly joyful about my camp friends. I don't think I'm being naive in believing that we'll still be friends years from now. I'm going to be part of the SevenAwesomeNBTSCers vlogging channel on YouTube starting in January and I'm quite excited about that. I'm looking forward to the new year- I'm going to visit Signe in Canada, go to London with Maddie, go snowboarding in CO, and I have some piano festivals and I'm supposed to impress the judges. I'm going to have an eyebrow piercing, glasses and braces by June. I think I'm going to dye all my hair dark blue when I turn 18 (three years from now), but right now I'm just going to dye it back to brown. So, that's what been going on! I love you all. So much. Reply

ZaraC

So for the past couple of weeks, I've been thinking about Christmas a lot. This is my first Christmas on my own - well, I'm not on my own, I'm with Zephyr and Jono - but it's my first Christmas without my family. I've been thinking about how Christmas used to be when I was younger, and getting really upset because I missed it. I missed the joy that I experienced on Christmas Day, the joy that came from unwrapping all of the presents and being overwhelmed with great toys and yummy chocolate and stuff. I was excited for the gifts themselves, of course, but I really just liked unwrapping everything. I liked the suspense, the surprise of it all. I don't really have that this year. The closest I've come to that is unwrapping virtual Farmville presents, which is the saddest thing in the whole world. We wouldn't even have a Christmas tree in the apartment if it wasn't for me. Zephyr is a rabid atheist, and Jono...I have no idea. I'm not sure he really cares too much about Christmas at all. Anyway, it's just been a massive change from going out with my parents to look at everyone's Christmas lights and putting up tons of decorations. I've been getting pretty upset about it, and tonight has been really difficult. (Tonight is Christmas Eve, for those of you who look at this post later and wonder.) But then I started trying to think about what I am excited for, and I realized that what I'm excited for is going to my parents' house tomorrow, seeing my family, eating my mom's food, and cuddling our cats. & it's different from the kind of joy that I experienced when I was six, of course, but I kind of feel like even though it's less of a giddy feeling, it's a better one. I almost feel like now that I don't have a zillion presents to open, now that I'm twenty and not six and I'm not spoiled in quite the same way anymore, I don't have the petty, material aspects of Christmas to fall back on, and I'm finally, FINALLY understanding what the entire point of Christmas is. My Christmas present to Zephyr is (hopefully) paying for someone important to him to come visit us. My Christmas present to my parents is going to be watching the animals for 3 days while they go wherever they want to go. (My parents have 2 horses, 2 dogs, and...oh God, um...16 cats? So it's difficult to find anyone to take care of them, and there's nobody but me that they don't all spaz out over.) It's not material, or expensive, or anything, but it's what they all want. I kind of feel like I'm finally getting it. It's different, and hard, but I think it's better than what I've always known. —Cassia Reply

Hello people's, I hope you are all doing well, I've have been super busy, working on a farm on Martha's Vineyard while I live there with my dad and little brother Jacob (yes it is kinda weird to go from living with my mom and 5 other people (most of them female) to living with my dad and brother) I work three days a week 7 hours (at least) a day and I really enjoy it, the property I work on is absolutly beautiful. The work is hard but I love it. I've had something to keep me busy every weekend since camp (except the one after the halloween weekend, I needed a break though so it was nice) I got to go to SPLASH last weekend and see a whole bunch of campers, that was really awesome! I just got home to Maine I've had two thanksgiving meals (one last night and another today) on Saturday I'll be going to my grandmother's for another one and my mother's fianc`e (sorry about spelling) want's to take us all out to Olive Garden sometime this upcoming week. Which reminds me, my mom is getting married so I'm going to be staying home for a week to go shopping with her and stuff. Until thursday that is I'm going to the Portland (Maine) art walk through with some friends and (hopefully) down to Jesse's for his little birthday bash before I go home. I don't know if I can afford to do that and go to Zara's though so I kinda feel in a bit of a pickle.... But everythings going pretty good for me lately so I'm sure I'll figure something out. I can't believe that at camp I had no idea what I would be doing when I got home! I love and miss you all ☮ KelseyA Reply

Well, this is a page I just found out about! I like it. My life has changed considerably since I went to camp. I'm a lot more confident, and definitely a happier person than I was before. I can see myself being friends with a lot of campers for the rest of my life: it makes me extremely happy to know that I have friends who care about me, who I can call when i'm sad or just want to laugh. I'm having a small party with some NBTSCers at my house next month and i'm very excited! I will be turning 15 soon and that's nice... I just started giving guitar lessons to a six year old, and it's going surprisingly well. Thanksgiving is in a few days, and i'm looking forward to seeing my cousins. Also, going to visit my dad in London next month. It's been kind of weird between us since he moved, and i'm hoping that changes. I don't know why, but i've been making sure that I have something to do every day (hanging out with people I don't really like, baby-sitting, math homework) because when I'm not doing something, I feel really lonely... Well, I must now go- I have to rake leaves -ZaraC Reply

Helloooo Wiki. Reply

My life, although not perfect, is considerably better than it was last time I updated. Which is two posts down. Reply

My OCD is still going crazy and my dermatillomania hasn't stopped but I'm managing them both better. Reply

I am definitely going to Cameron's conference in March which means I'm definitely seeing campers, including Liam N. This is very very good. Reply

And I'm almost definitely going to New York City after to see Izzy, Naomi, Jesus, Polly, Roxy, Ingmar, Liam & anyone else who lives around there. Reply

I've been talking to a lot more campers this year than I was this time last year and it's making a huge difference to my general well being. Reply

My dreads are progressing really well, and while I do miss brush-able hair quit a bit, I adore them. Each of them has character. Reply

The only thing that is currently bothering me is that about 15 minutes ago, for a photo, my face and right hand were covered in blood and even though I've washed it all off I can still smell and taste it. Which is making me feel a little sick. Reply

So, I'm off to find face cream that will over up the smell and then I'm going to be. Far too late, as per normal. Reply

—Signe Reply

Hmmhmm. Jake Oh here. Reply

I'm happy. I've been feeling appreciated and understood a lot recently. It's November, and I'm loving the air. I finished writng my first kids book, and I'm practically glowing with pride over it... Really enjoying my art. And feeling so grateful for the people aorund me, even if I don't have time to talk to hardly any of them (Been busy guys, I swear I'll catch up with all of you sometime. Miss you!). Little things are nice too. Having good music to listen to. A seemingly endless supply of warm homemade bread. Reply

Happy to be where I am. Reply

Joy to the world, Reply

—Jake Oh Reply

You wrote a kid's book? That's brilliant!

-ZaraC Reply

My most prominent thoughts and feeling: Reply

1.I feel odd about love. I almost sort of think that maybe, I'm on my way to understanding what I believe it is to me. I think I nearly can comprehend what it is to really really care about someone, but I don't feel like I'm doing a lot of it, which I don't think I like. There is'nt anyone in my life I don't care about at all, but the number of people I care for to an extreme, are few, and less than three of them I've known for less than sixteen years. Reply

2.It bothers me when I feel like most people in my life don't appreciate me for whatever greatness and intelligence I have... and then I feel like I should feel bad about being selfish, or egotistical, but I don't really. Reply

3.I'm very close to possibly having a boyfriend of some sort again, which feels awfully silly. I'm not in love with him, but I'm not sure if that bothers me. I don't know whether he's the kind of person I want to have such a high stance in my life and mind. He just texted me. Reply

4.When I first looked out the window this morning the frost was so thick it looked almost like snow. —Nikiah Rose Childs Reply

My OCD has been going nuts since Session Four. Reply

I am 100% sure I have dermatillonmania, which is the last thing I need. Reply

Because of said dermatillomania my face looks like a war zone, which is not helping my severe self esteem issues. But all my self esteem/life issues cause my dermatillomania to get worse. It's a never ending cycle. Reply

Ever since during Session Three I've been having psychic dreams. You know, dream it then it happens? Well I get them all the time. Reply

And in the past few nights I've been having terrible, vivid nightmares about my friends dying and I am so scared that all this stuff is actually going to happen. Reply

They're not dying is ridiculous, normal nightmare ways, they're dying in very possible everyday ways. Cancer, being hit by a car, being in a plane crash etc. Reply

So obviously, I don't really like sleeping anymore. So I don't sleep enough at all. Which means I'm not exactly with the program most of the time. Reply

I'm also sort of reeeeaaaallllyyyyy slowly getting over the guy I've liked for over a year, I mean, I still love him a lot but it's not quite as much in love as just love. Reply

To be honest, it's kind of scary. There's a big comfort in just know you like So-and-so. I'm nervous of who I might like next or something. Especially since there's someone I can see myself liking a lot and who I'm pretty sure has at least a tiny crush on me. I've never really had to deal with this. Reply

I really really need to go visit comes campers who I can be open with about everything. Reply

sigh* —Signe

I'm sorry your going through much a hard time dear, if you EVER need to talk don't think twice to call me I'm always here for you and I love so much! -Laura D.

I hate life... it's so fucking meaning less and no one will ever care. Reply

In response to Kayla - Hi Kayla, thanks for the shoutout. And I am sorry. Dad'll fix it. - Jesus

So this is tha gang, tha bang, tha (promised not to use this word when it doesn't actually apply, goddamn you Ben), the whole thing. And y'know, I am so very happy. All so lovely. Lovelylovely puddles of lovely. My back hurts. Reply

This is Jacqui. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Reply

This is Naomi. I'm doing awesome. I am amazing, talking to Guy Quinn. (Jesus- Fun fact, for a while I thought Quinn's real name was Guy, and Quin was his middle name or uh... whaevah. s'funny forra me) Naomi is currently making a classic Naomi face. Reply

Roxy speaking. I fucking wanna go to bed right now. I am tired. There are too many awesome people in the room right now to go to bed. Gotta get up early. Shit. (my my what a sailor yo!) Reply

Hannah is currently asleep right now, so this lovely little ditty right here is brought to you by Jackie. Kybo announcement dedicated to Jacquiii. Reply

Love. Reply

Oh... jesus I want to collapse into a little puddle and never think again. I just broke up with my boyfriend of four years less than a week ago and he's already mutually crushing with some girl I don't even know! What the hell! The weirdest part is we're still in love and he really wants to be with me. I want to be with him in some ways but in others I just couldn't be with him any more. But my god this is tearing me apart. I thought we might have a bit more of a transition period, but I guess not. I think I'm about to break down. —Kayla Reply

Oh and also, to add insult to injury, there's all these girls crushing on him and I don't know of anyone who is crushing on me! —Kayla Reply

OH Kayla, I'm so sorry to hear that *hugs* that really sucks D: I wish I could say something to make it better, but I love you and you're REALLY freaking beautiful, itelligent and funny ♥ KelseyA

Come home please.

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Sending you massive amounts of love and strength Kayla. Adore you. —Jake

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I realize that you most likely won't read this, as it is a few months since you wrote that, but I thought you should know that for more than a few months now I've been on the verge of crushing on you, I've not been since you had a boyfriend, and I am good at not crushing on someone if I think it be pointless for more than one or two reasons. but now that your single it is getting very close, also it only recently dawned on me that you're only about a year older than me, so yes, some one is. I'm not going to sign this, as I feel it would affect things, possibly in a bad way, though, it might not.

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 ~Anon.

Going to school was a really bad decision. I just do not have the personality for school. I'd much rather be eating apricots in a bookstore reading crazy old sci fi novels or planting garlic or making soup or just doing things that mean something. Luckily, I do those things in my free time, but I would rather them be my all the time!! Its been ages since I've been on wiki. I miss camper people. I think you're all rad. I'm freezing my fingers off and its dinner time, so thats pretty much all I have to say. Oh, and money is a pain in the ass. :D —Bean Reply

Lets see if i still remember how to edit wiki! it's been years since i was last on here... it's a bit funny. i just looked at first session photos and smiled widly inside. at all the happy shiny faced campers. in fairy wings and dyed hair... taking photos and laughing on that old bridge. i remember my last year of camp, and i wished i had prepared myself better for it. Kayla, and whoever else is graduating are very wise to be thinking about this now. i'm so thankful that there is a graduation for campers who are moving on. there was always a slight loss inside myself, like i had a hard time closing that chapter of my life. but now i'm 22, and 2004 seemes so far away now. i'd like to go back again, and see the new lodge. give grace the worlds biggest hug for being able to hold this space. and nathan and everyone else too. nbtsc was the first step in turning into me. find what you love in life, and love it. never let anyone ever tell you that you can't because you can. fall in love, it's the scairyest and best thing you can do. hug trees. and think of me and my sister Dawn (longtime staffer of westcoast) as you sit by the stream outside the main lodge. ROCK OUT AT NBTSC!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE TONS OF FUN!!!!! —Heather Reply

Heather, yay! I so definitely remember you, and in fact think of you whenever I see people wearing fairy wings. Honest. Could you maybe come as staff sometime? Hugs, AndyP

Well right now a lot of the people who are usually on here seem to be at camp, so Wiki seems to be quite deserted right now. But I'm still here and missing camp quite a bit (26 more days to go for me) I can't believe I'm graduating this year and I totally still feel like a new camper. Right now I'm baby sitting two days a week and keeping up my ongoing search for another job (which reminds me of the 4 applications I have to submit tomorrow)before the 11th I need to submit my art into the Infinity Art Gallery for there competition, on the 18th I'm going to be going up to Machias Maine to do some more volunteer work with the Bee Hive Design Collective for a week, I'll be helping them get ready for Common Ground Fair. Then I'll ride down to Common Ground with them to be there in the morning on the 25th, until my mom picks me up and takes me down to Portland (Maine) for my internship with the lovely Lori Rae owner of Lollipop Art Productions. That will keep me busy until the 28th when I will come back home to pack for camp on the 30th. Hopefully when I get home from camp I'll have a job to come back to, if not... Well then, that will be an adventure. KelseyA 09/03/09 Reply

Hello campers! Reply

I have a question isn't working for me, I'm not sure why, I tried to get to it a few different ways. So I'll make this question check in-y, but everyone please feel free to respond even if you don't know me. Not that you wouldn't feel free necessarily, but, um, okay yeah. Reply

I'm going to graduate from camp in less than a month, and while this makes me nervous and a little sad, I am excited to make it another good year, and I'm holding the intention of giving my whole self to camp. I want to be proactive in helping to make camp a fun, interesting, meaningful, cozy, intellectually stimulating, adventurous and cuddly place to spend a beautiful week of life this fall. Reply

So here is my question. What have been things at camp that have been the most memorable and meaningful (and all other adjectives above) experiences for you? Was there an event, or a neat poem you found, or a discussion, or anything that particularly enchanted you and made your experience great? I'm partly looking for inspiration, but I also think it would be cute and interesting and nostalgia inducing and exciting to hear about people's best camp experiences, so I'd love it if you want to respond to tell a story about the wonderfulness of camp, no matter if it doesn't apply as something I could do to enhance camp. I know that everyone's experience is their own and I can't make anyone have a good time. Maybe that goes without saying. Reply

Alright sorry if that came off a little kooky I finished a ten and a half hour work day earlier, and that is a short day (I'm apprenticing on an organic farm, my intention from camp in 2007-yay!), and I am possibly a little strange and definitely a lot tired right now. Love to everyone, —Kayla Reply

P.S. I also listened to A Whole New World from Aladdin about ten times in a row so maybe that explains my craziness. Or maybe I'm just excited for camp. Or maybe I am off my rocker. Reply

I guess I have two things. One is from my first year when I got some really cute/sweet poems from my fairy godmother. The second thing would be from my second year, there were a few times when I would be came in a door at the same time someone else was coming out and it happend with the same person every times so (without saying a word) we would stop, give each other a hug and just keep going to do whatever we were doing, it was really simple and kinda silly but it was sweet and for some reason really stuck with me.

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I don't know if that's what you're looking for. But those are the first things that come to mind for me, if I think of more I'll let you know. KelseyA Reply

I feel special -Kelsey's First Fairy God Mother

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That's totally wonderful and cute Kelsey, keep it coming. —Kayla

Hm, haven't done this in a while! If I had to guess, I would say it's been two years at least since I've posted on the wiki. (Not counting the post I made two minutes ago. Ha.) Lets see, check in, baby. . . I just got back from a road trip up the Pacific Northwest I called the Victor Reconnects With Campers He Hasn't Seen In Ages Tour. It went even better than I thought it would. I even met some campers I hadn't met before! (Emmie? Zara? You two hang out around here?) Reply

Reconnecting (and connecting for the first time) with all these cool people made me want to get back into the camp community, both with people who I went to camp with and with campers who are going now. Which is pretty much with the wiki is for! Hi everyone! I'm going to be around here more and on IRC. Anywhere else we're hanging out these days? Reply

—Victor (8/23/09) Reply

Hay guest! You'll be pleased to know that Emmie and I made it to and from Oly safely and had an awesome time. Now she's at camp and i'm stuck at home being weepy. Le sigh. —Zena

Glad to hear you guys had a blast on your travels! I totally understanding the being down while everyone you know is off at camp. —Victor

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Hey, Everyone, at this time in three days, WE'LL BE IN CAMP! I'm happy about that. Reply

—Ben Reply

At least you west coasters will, I still have to wait for 37 days :( KelseyA Reply

Hey everyone, Reply

It's late notice, but I'm looking for a ride to camp for the first session open house on Thursday the 27th at 10am. I'm staying in Portland, so idealy it would be cool to get it ride from Portland to camp and back. I'm willing to pay. I'm still coming to Oregon regardless if I go to camp or not. I've already talked to a lot of you, but if there's anyone out there who wants to have a road trip. Please let me know. Thanks!!! This is a surprise for someone at camp, if I make it they will be really happy. Reply

-Lynn. C a.k.a Orange Jelly Bean Reply

PSSST hey! I am in the same boat! Contact me please if anybody's visiting camp from portland, or even Eugene, I just gotta get to myrtlewood on Thursday <3 zenarochelle at msndotcom, thanks! —zena

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Hi Zena! I'll totally contact you if I get anymore info. Please to the same for me. I have to get to myrtlewood as well :) Oh! I called green cab, they said a one way trip from Eugene to myrtlewood would be $450!!! -Lynn Reply

Hey guys, Reply

Another annual check-in. My life's doing pretty decent. I went to Greece for a month in July and had a pretty fantastic time. I learned all about clubs and drinking and dancing and feel like I grew up a little. I miss it almost as much as I camp. Actually, I miss them both about the same. I've decided I'm going to Occidental down south in California if I can manage it, but I still have no idea what I'm going to do. (Don't you hate that phrase? I don't want to decide. I just want to do everything and stay alive.) Reply

I don't have much else to say, because my main focuses right now are on finding friends (non-online ones) and dealing with school. I guess to be honest I don't know why school is suddenly so important to me, because I'm not sure I need any kind of degree to live life the way I want to, to do the things I consider worthwhile, to fulfill the needs that are really essential to me. I guess it's appropriate that that kind of sudden epiphany would come out on this wiki of all places. Heh. Reply

Learning is fun, though. I guess that's why I'm doing it. Because if nothing else, I'll be changed for the better by a good education. And it'll put me close to people who are interested in getting a similar education. What I'll end up majoring in is probably secondary to that. Reply

I wish I was going to camp, but I'm not. And just like last year, when I wrote about this, I'm getting a bit choked up. Everyone who's going, you are incredibly lucky people, and you're getting to participate in an incredible, transcendental experience - one that literally made my life. Enjoy yourselves, you lucky schmucks. Reply

—PatrickC Reply

Hi, Reply

I haven't been on the camp wiki for a year at least. It's crazy, and good, that all this loving goes on after my active participation in it has stopped. I'm writing this sitting in warm sunlight, getting ready to move house in a few days, to the place that I will live for probably the next five years of my life. I have purple stains on my lips from drinking blackberry smoothie, and the person I am in love with is laying on the couch a meter away. Be well lovely people, ~sam A Reply

Dear campers, Reply

My new husband and I decided to spend the last few days of our honeymoon in Eugene, OR, going to all the fancy restaurants we'd seen in our camper days but could never afford. One of the ones we went to happened to be right next to the Amtrak station, and when a train went by in the middle of dinner we just had to look at each other and laugh—our fifteen year old (and 13, and 17) selves would never have imagined that someday we'd be here, just a few yards away from our NBTSC arrival and departure memories, married. To each other. Reply

So I just wanted to drop a line to alla you out there and say hey, you too could end up appallingly happy just a few short years from now. It's pretty awesome, this married business. —Marina Moses Shuman Reply

Marina, this is awesome. -AndyP
I love this, and you. —Cassia

This is so wonderful. I'm so happy for you. ♥♥♥ ~BlueberryEmily
Beautiful enough to move me to tears. I'm so incredibly happy for you both. ♥ —Kitty

I usually don't CheckIn twice in 24 hours, but...um...yeah, I got in a pretty epic car accident today. I'm okay, but my car isn't. (well, it might be.) I was about three or four feet away from being really, really not okay, and by really, really not okay, I mean quite potentially dead. So that's weird. Just thought I'd let you know. —Cassia Reply

Tomorrow I move to Portland gain...yeah. —Ezza Reply

Tired. Hitting the wall of tolerance for my body, which is oddly a good sign. Life in lyme disease treatment is rather entertaining. I started the heparin yesterday, and I was entirely disgusted to discover while I was reading about it, that it is made from pig intestines and cow lungs. It tastes like it too. Hahah. Yes, I couldn't believe it either. I have beautifully passed the nausea caused by antibiotics and I've entered the I need to eat *everything* or the Food? No.. Don't need that. I still can't sleep, but between herbal supplements, citalopram and benedryl I can get near 3 hours of sleep a night. Reply

In happier news! I have new friends, and we went to see the hangover which was entirely hilarious. I saw for the first time Eagle Eye, which was pretty good, better then I thought it would be. I also started watching gilmore girls (I know, don't throw up) and it's fantastically distracting from my world as it stands these days. Pomegranate blueberry juice is rather tasty. Reply

Sleeping now, just pills, powder, liquid sulfur products (omg disgusting, worse the then heparin), heparin and some food. Anybody wanna join me? *laughs* Be well, all. —CeCi Reply

I am having a really, really bizarre day. I'm getting sick, so I feel really physically off, and one of my cats was put to sleep today, so I feel really emotionally off. But I was just on Wiki looking to see if a certain breed of page exists (it doesn't, yet) and I got distracted by the zillions of other pages that were created by campers I know and campers I don't. I read various discussions, personal pages, and lots of brainstorming sessions. All this made me want to do was get up and do something about something, anything, but specifically (unsurprisingly) do something about camp. Obviously camp is already a really beautiful, wonderful place already, but all of these pages made me want to revive aspects of camp that have gone into hiding and bring ideas into creation that have never seen the light of day before. Reply

It's just really unfortunate that I graduated last year. Because, you know, this year, I'm not actually going to be AT camp. And if I visited or something, it would be for a day. That's it. There's this Wiki, which gives me a little bit of an outlet for change and throwing what I have into our community, but other than that, I'm kind of stuck. I kind of wish that I had applied for junior staff for an east coast session, but I kind of don't, because it would really fuck with school and my life in general. And as for west coast, I can't imagine being a staffer while someone I'm with is a camper. But I really, really, really want to be on staff. I don't think that the sort of life I want to infuse into camp is really possible as a camper. Or rather, it is possible, but would be weird for me. I already miss camp, even though it hasn't happened this year, and I haven't actually missed it yet, but I'm so glad I graduated. My last year was spent doing staffer-y/older camper-y things anyway, like taking new campers under my wing and making younger campers feel at ease with older campers and cleaning cleaning cleaning. I don't think I could just be a camper at this point. Not with where I am mentally. So I'm okay with having graduated, really. I'm just not pleased with the idea of not coming back this year, especially when I know that I still have so much to give. I am especially not pleased when I remember that I have no guarantee that I am ever going to come back as a staffer in any capacity, no guarantee that I will ever be able to come back and do the sort of things I want to do. It scares me. I think my only real option is to do what I decided I was going to do my very first year of camp (since yes, I've been determined to be a staffer since 2006) — live a life so glorious and epic that when Grace & co. examined it, it would be impossible for them to not bring me back to let me share what I have. I just really want to give something back, if not to camp, in the name of camp. I'm not sure if that makes sense. I guess what I'm saying is that I really just want to bring beauty, joy, creativity, and inspiration to camp in any way I can, and if I can't at all, then I want to bring it somewhere, because I finally feel like I have something actually worth spreading. Reply

By the way, after spending way too long reading through Wiki pages from various years/eras of camp, I can honestly say that I am totally convinced that every single one of you people who have ever graced Wiki, whether or not you still do, are really fascinating creatures. Reply

Oh, and since I'm checking in, I just went on an epic road trip to visit Kitty, Lani, Amylynn, and Blueberry, and then I went to Disney World. And I'm 20. And Blueberry is coming to visit soon. And Wolfram came to visit. And I really, really like my life, even though it's complicated. The dead cat bit is something I don't like, though. Reply

Ramble ramble ramble. Reply

EXCITED EXCITED ECTITED. Pretty much using this check in to show Indigo how this site works. You have a new camper on here, everyone. Talk to her at —Indigo. I'm seeing campers so riddiculously soon I'm gonna go crazy. I don't know how I'm not walking on the ceiling right now, it makes me so happy. This is a good thing. —Lani Reply

I'm working on a camp T-shirt design for this year. It involves words (or two-word phrases) that really represent what CampIs. I'm listing a bunch of words on that page... please tell me what you think and add your own before the end of the month! Reply

Checking in, which I haven't done for a while... Reply

I'm still in the Minneapolis area, still working on various nonprofit canvasses (phone fundraising this time) and still loving it. I'm two years through (halfway!) at the University of Minnesota and it's finally starting to feel like it has a point, now that I've created an individualized major (environmental communications) and can see the relevance of most of what I'm doing. This is definitely a good thing. I've also ended up doing a lot of graphic design work over the past few months — an internship plus other stuff for good causes. Reply

About a month ago, the stock photography site .iStockPhoto finally accepted my photographer application, which makes me unduly happy. I only have five photos up right now, but the potential of eventually having enough up to make some money off of is pretty cool. I'm filling out camp forms for this year (Night Owl for Session 1) at the moment. I'm concerned about Nadine (see Cassia's post below) and hope she's better soon. That's about all the major news from my world right now... I miss you all. -AndyP Reply

I came on here to rant a bit about how terrible my life is and how sad I am, bit after reading the newer entries I've decided that, in fact, my life is just fucking fine. Reply

I like that.

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There is so much miserable shit going on right now with everyone I know. Its like for the last nine monthes or so, everyone is just focusing on getting thru, that things are not good, they're just happening and we're all trying to just make it. That makes me sad. I know it will get better, but right now I just wish I could give everyone I know a giant hug and fresh strawberries or something!! —Bean Reply

I'm rather..upbeat for how crappy today has been. I had to spend $600 today, of which I was expecting $300. I found out I have a blood clotting disorder that means for the rest of my life I will be taking heparin and having my blood taken every 4 weeks. I also found out that I have to start taking another drug that prevents me from spending any time in the sun. For those not keeping track, it's JUNE and SUMMER. I will get second degree burns if I go out in the sun for more then 5 minutes. Then the *really* fun part of today was being told to start a medication that will potentially cause me to go into anaphylactic shock. I get to learn how to use an epi-pen tomorrow before trying that fun little adventure. By next monday I will be taking 72 pills a day. Reply

On a happier note, I get to go apartment hunting with a friend tomorrow (for her, not me) and the fact that it thrills me probably says something about me but I'm not listening unless it says something good. Hah. I am going to a movie. I bought peaches today. 9 peaches in fact. And they will become sliced peaches with whipped cream. I also have cherries. These things make me happy, The End. —CeCi Reply

Turns out that I can only go to one session of camp, so the road trip that I have been planning and hoping for over the past year is no longer a reality for me.... So I'm kinda bummed :P KelseyA Reply

T_T yakri~

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oh no! :( —Signe

A few months ago, by best friend Kizzle moved to Australia. My mom's best friend's son who Im pretty close with, just left for Colorado yesterday and the only week my family can visit them is the week of Session 3, so I wont get to see him. In a few weeks another girl Im really close to is moving back home to New Zealand because her family's time here is up. Then my other friend Cathy(who Im trying to convince to come to camp before she leaves) is moving back to New Zealand next year because her family's time is almost up also. I have really been trying to hold myself together cus my only other real friends are my band mates, one girl in my town, and two girls in other towns(so we rarely see each other). I just found out that the band is breaking up and my friend in this town is moving. Im really trying to make friends my age that live around here, but they already have their own friends and Im afraid to get close to anyone because now I think they are just gonna move away. Gahhh. I know I can keep in touch with everyone that moves, but I need friends that I can hang out with and laugh with and hug. —Paisley Reply

I know the feeling. I love you/good luck. —Signe

Now Kizzle is only going to one week of camp T_T

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I really, really wish that there was no need for someone to post this, but there is. Nadine Dyskant, our favorite flute playing west coast camper, has leukemia. Apparently, she has the better kind of leukemia, but she has leukemia nonetheless. She starts chemo on Friday (5/29/09), and she wants suggestions on what color wig to get. She has all of this information up on her Facebook in two notes, so if you're friends with her, you can go look there. She's taking the whole thing in a typically Nadine way - she's being super positive and cheerful and wonderful, but she can obviously still use support and love. If you want to send her something happymaking while she's in the hospital, her address is as follows: Reply

Nadine Dyskant-Miller Reply

601 Elmwood Ave. Reply

Rochester, NY 14642 Reply

4-1400 Reply

The last part indicates her room, so don't leave it out. She'll be in the hospital for at least a month. I also have no idea whether or not she'll still be coming to camp. Knowing Nadine, I doubt she'll let a little cancer stop her from being with you guys. Anyway, here ends the CheckIn update I thought I'd never have to make. —Cassia Reply

The HeyYouGuysInCharge page doesn't seem to be working. Has anyone else noticed everything has been a bit glitchy lately? When I finish editing a page it goes to a strange error page even though my edits are working. Reply

its been like that for me also —Paisley

Yep, it's a bit irritating. Also, I'm pretty sure the 2009 workshops page doesn't work either(you can't edit it). yakri~

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Lately Ive been in an odd mood. I just feel empty on the inside. I dont really have any real friends around here. I miss feeling infinite. Reply

Does looking at the stars help?
It does for a little while, but then the stars fade and the sun comes up

I'm missing camp something awful, but I'm also trying to live my life. I'm in Driver's Ed. now, and I'm learning to drive. I'll be able to drive other people places by camp 2010. I've been working on my art, and I'm getting better. I'm in the process of writing a novel, which I hope to finish, edit, and publish at some point in the near future. Reply

I am just always so impressed but what camp people do with their lives, that right now I am working to do something equally impressive. I know I can do it, because all of you have showed me it's possible. Good luck to all of you in doing what you love best! Reply

-Chloe M. Reply

I'm living and working on an organic farm, which has been a lifelong dream of mine. It's not always exciting, it's often tiring, but it feels right. There was always a wrongness to not living on a farm, and now it's gone, and I can really breathe. Reply

I'm going to go see if the cows want to hang out. —Kayla Reply

Ha ha yeah for cows! they are such lovely listeners ^_ KelseyA

Hello Wiki! It's been a while! So I fulfilled my camp resolution and got into a good circus school! I'm going to be going to the Ecole de Cirque de Quebec next year! Yahoo! I miss camp already, it's about that time of year. Sadly I don't get to count down the weeks this year, but I'll be super busy around camp time anyway figuring out where I'll be living in Qeubec City and other such things. But people should email me or call me or contact me in someway! Just do it! (Because I'm not cool enough to do it myself) -Arne Reply

I've been feeling awful lately. I'm not really sure what caused it but, honestly, I've never felt this bad before. Reply

I really just want someone to snuggle with me and pat my head and tell me it will all be ok and how much they love me. Reply

I need a job if I want to do all the things I want to do and I'm scared stiff. I've never even babysat. The idea of working with you know, hours and money and stuff is awfully scary sounding. I really want to teach tennis but I can't take the teacher training course until next april. Reply

I really want to go for a walk, but don't want to wake my family up but walking through the house. I can't wait until we move and I'll be able to climb out my window and sit on my roof for late night fresh air. Reply

—Signe Reply

I really know how you feel about getting a job. I'm reminded of how much I need one at every turn, and of all the things I can't get with out the money that comes with it. But at the same time I don't WANT to get a job, and I'm nervous about whether or not I could do it! It's just.... scary. yeah, that does about sum it up. That's too bad that you can't take a walk without waking your family up, I'm lucky, the place I stay until late at night is in a separate building from the main house, across the carport. So when I'm feeling like that I can walk out and watch the stars. Of course, most of the year round it's pouring rain, and/or cloudy, so that's not exactly true... :P But hey! Look on the bright side, both of us are almost definitely worried about nothing, it's like that weird feeling in your gut you get when a roller coaster is going down a steep drop (or if you haven't been on a roller coaster, the feeling you get anytime your body drops suddenly downwards), for a second you get that horrible pit-of-your-stomach fear feeling, and then you level out and it turns into vicious excitement. I'd also compare it to the feeling of speaking in front several hundred people, and not metaphorically tripping over you own feet. ^_ Man, do I go on and on or what? Well, good luck *hug*. yakri~

If you have a lot of anxiety about getting a job, can I suggest volunteering somewhere first? Because that's essentially working, but on your own terms and without pay. I volunteered at a library for two summers and developed a good relationship with some of the staff and they hooked me up with a real job there because I was responsible, dedicated, and I was willing to do things some of the other volunteers weren't (handling cockroaches and snakes and things like that). I cleaned a lot. Most of the other volunteers kind of loafed around. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything I'm just saying that I tried to make myself valuable and it paid off. Anyway, I highly recommend volunteering somewhere before getting a real job, even if you don't end up working at the same place. I don't love love love my job but it's much better than the other things I could be doing as a sixteen year old. Most people my age (around here, anyway) are working at fast food restaurants and getting screamed at, or babysitting, whatever. But you have so many options. I don't know how things are where you live but you could volunteer in a homeless shelter, a library, a humane society, anywhere. Network! And once you get used to having a volunteer job, getting a real job won't be as scary. Another bonus to volunteering at the place you want to work (or at least getting to know the staff) is that they will go out of their way to help you when you start working there. If they know you personally, it's a lot better. Anyway, getting my job is one of the best things I've ever done. Good luck! -CarlyB

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I love you Signe. —Kayla

Today I bought my tickets to go to London, England and Glasgow, Scotland!!! June 17th - July 2nd, can't wait! if anyone on here has been to either place, I would love to hear some of places you loved, think I should see, or should definitely stay from. this will be my first time traveling alone and I can't wait! -FionaC Reply

So excited, no one to tell. Might get a shot at a job at the cancer center, my Dream job. I've been waiting for an opening for 2 years. I found out today it's been open for 15 days and I didn't know. I applied as fast as my cursor would allow and I *really* wish I weren't going out of town in 10 days. Wish me luck! And overly giddy, —CeCi (who probably won't get the job, but is trying anyway!) Reply

Wow...it's been ages since I wrote on here. Lately I've been thinking about NBTSC more and more, and really missing it in my life. It's funny how something so...something that just at a glance looks like an event or average experience, can have such a monumental impact on your life and self. I have good people in my life that I love very much, but NBTSC and its ilk will always have a special place in my heart. I think maybe next year I will apply for Jr. Staff. Reply

Life now is at a challenging place for me, but what's life worth without a challenge, right? I'm taking my first year off from the ren faire circuit in 8 years (My troupe is still working contracts, but I gave my co-director my lesson plans and show scripts/blocking, and am letting her run it this year.) which is...weird. I'm moving back to Portland (as soon as I have some idea where I'm going to live and work.) which is exciting and terrifying at the same time. I will make it all work out somehow. Reply

But, really, the whole point of this check in was just to let you all know that I miss you. Like whoa. Reply

—Ezza Reply

I really freaking miss Harper now.

And every single camper in that video. Reply

And camp. Reply

And I just keep watching the smiles in that video over and over and over again. Reply

And I'm sad but it's a.... happy sad. If that makes sense. Which is doesn't. Reply

...I miss you. ♥ Reply

I think that we should all send out five random messages of love today. Just an email or a phone call to five campers, just saying that you love them or are thinking of them. Can you think of anything that would brighten up your day more than getting a random email from someone saying that they missed you? That they love you?! Lets do it!! Reply

Yo, yo mis amigos! Werd uuup??! Reply

I have forgotten that Wiki is here the past couple of months. Which I guess is good that I'm busy and involved in life that I dont remember this nebulous ill-defined community for which I no longer actively attend its gatherings. Reply

I spend my days Pedaling for Pedal People here in Northampton and thinking about my garden, having meetings with my fellow worker-owners of the cooperative, baking lots of granola and cookies, and chilling with mae homeboy felines friends. Reply

Life is pretty good and looks like it will be continuing to steadily improve. Reply

But 'yo, two years ago? I was in mired in shiznat and it feels good to be moving out of that. Reply

—Mike Reply

Holy crap, we're actually having a baby. -FionA Reply

I very seldom visit this page however I thought that such creative people as nbtscers would have a good idea. I'm trying to name my unborn child =) and I haven't come up with anything that I really like it's hard giving a baby a name because they will wear it for the rest of there life. SO I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas for a baby boy who is actually due today and I'm running out of time he could be here at anytime and well he really needs a special not common yet not way off the wall name. SO if anyone has any ideas wonderful please reply =)~Jackie Cassara Reply

Devon, Vincent, Charlie, Erik, Rowan, Willow.

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Wikki? could be short for Walker...

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Perry, Kendall, Tanner, Davies, Nathan, Jamie, Tucker, Quinn, James.

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Aidan, Kai, Isa, Lake, Anders, Simon, Theo, Seth, Austin, Gus, and Eben(pronounced like Evan with a b)

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well I already know a Quinn, so not that(I don't like the name much anyway..) I have always loved Maurice though, Lesly (yes, it can be a guys name),Graham, Calvin, Marvin.~WinstonWLumpkinsIV (yes, I already know what I'll name a son..)

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tell us what you name him

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I always thought Tristan was an awesome name.

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Kade, Dean, Joel, Jamie, Collin, Malcolm, Oscar, Trent.

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Tobey, Calvin. Holy shit, congratulations! What'd you name him? —Dave

Right now life is annoying and really blah on occasion. I have had the misfortune of being introduced to spells of anxiety and depression and I don't like it. I want them to go away and never come back. I'm particularly grumbly about it at this very moment because I had hoped at least that it was just attached to my period but now I think maybe not. See the thing is I had a few really crappy days where I went from just fine to feeling like just crying. For no reason really. But then the last 4 days or so have been wonderful! absolutely back to normal! But as I got home today (I was gone for the weekend) I just suddenly felt another episode settle down on me. My chest feels a little tight and if I don;t firmly ignore it I feel anxious and if I actually pay any attention to it I feel a bit weepy moving in. Go AWAY stupid emotions! I wouldn't mind so much if there was actually stuff for me to fret about but life is good right now. I really have nothing to complain about in my life except for the stupid depression shit. Grrr. —Annoyed and grumbly. Reply

** I've been there, and I didn't have any reason for my anxiety/panic/depression either. I got to the point of sheer frustration and wanting to give up, and then I found out that I was intolerant to wheat, gluten, and potatoes. They throw off the chemical balances in my brain for some unknown reason but as long as I completely avoid them in my diet, I'm stable. My mental health skyrocketed in the positive direction after I cut them completely out. I know it isn't the only cause of all these things, but I highly recommend trying food eliminations to see if they are the cause of your wonky emotions. Shoot me an email if you're interested in knowing more about how the food affected me and how to eliminate. Hang in there, much love and many hugs. —CeCi (prohair_rinser at hotmail dot com)

I'm doing O.K I have been really really happy and genrally exited about life for the past month or so which is awesome (not that I was bad before just less good) I rode one of my horsies today He did really good we usaly have a bit of trouble going at first (he's an appleloosa if that explains anything :D ) but we didn't today so it was really fun :))) I'm learning a couple new songs on piano which is awesome and being frustrated on guitar because that darn F chord keeps getting in the way of learning some songs that I am obssesing over right now. downside is I'v been a bit upset cuz of a few things but I am going camping this week with some other people so that might help we will see.... <3 ~DanilleT Reply

(in regards to my post a few posts down) You know, I really have to stand by the theory that I have about the universe. If you go looking for something, you will not find it. If you just wait patiently, it will come to you. There are now about three or four people who are seriously considering moving in with us. Two would be moving in with us before the end of autumn. I am envisioning the transformation of a somewhat ratty little apartment into a beautiful place filled with color and PostSecrets and the smell of yummy food and mismatched silverware and teacups and music and silliness and laughter and serious conversations. And, of course, a couple of kitties and a couple of reptiles. Maybe a few people too, I guess. I have never been so excited at the thought of moving out. Ever. This is wonderful. —Cassia Reply

I want to be there so bad. —Lani

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Me too. ~BlueberryEmily

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I'm starting to think that this is epic enough to deserve its own page on Wiki. —Cassia

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Do itttt. The Winch has one! Well, they have PortlandCamperHouse08. You should totally make one for the Fall River house! ~Blue

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I got a letter from Harper today. He wrote it on the 23rd-26th. Here's a short version of what he told me: His company was supposed to go to BCT on the 26th, but it got pushed back until the 2nd. They're in preparation for it now, which apparently involves a lot of painful standing and marching and some classes. I think he's enjoying himself. He said to tell everyone he's doing well and his mailing address will be on his Facebook when he gets it. Reply

Hooray! I was wond'ring when we'd be hearing about that fella next, and I'm glad he's doing all right. Thank you, mystery poster. -Koree
mystery poster would be blueberry.—not blueberry

Wow, I don't check wiki in a while and I find out people are...getting pregnant? Fiona? Oh my goodness. I should check back in here much more often. Reply

I am pretty good, working full time at www.proindependence.org as the Access to Adventure Coordinator, planning special events and trips for adults with developmental disabilities. I live in Huntington Beach with my boyfriend who just started police academy (he is going to be a park ranger for the city of la) so our lives have suddenly been totally disrupted...only it went from kind of chaotic to a routine, but a very exhausting routine. Reply

I've been obsessing over sparkpeople lately, and this pink robe I got for christmas, and drinking eight glasses of water every day and cross stitching. And working. Lots of working. Stop by my blog and say hi (royaboya.blogspot.com) Reply

I miss all camper people tremendously, including the ones I've never actually met. Reply

—Roya Reply

I'm okay. I'm good, even. And I am going to do something amazing. Soon. Now. Sooner than in a little while. Just... hold me to this, guys, okay? —Selesen Reply

As can be evidenced from slightly further down in this page, I went to Disney World. While we were there (or rather, while we were in the hotel room ((which is definitely not what Lani and Blueberry {I mean, secret people} are talking about, no no not at all))), Zephyr and I realized that at some point in the future, we really need to start a camper house. Like, really really. We are no longer going to live with Andrew, because we realized that it just wouldn't work out. We'd be terrible roommates. But anyway, we are going to start a camper house. We figure what we're going to do is move out on our own at some point (probably within the year, unless something goes horribly, horribly wrong), and look around for some camp-esque roommates. It's the Boston area, it's not going to be hard. If and when anyone has interest in moving in with us (which I know will happen eventually - Lani and Blueberry seem quite interested in living with us when the time comes), we'll find someplace for them and/or move out into a bigger place. This will continue for as long as people are interested in living with us. So yeah, I'm not going to start looking for people who want to live with us now, 'cause 1 - all of my attempts have been fruitless, 'cause Portland is the happenin' place right now, and 2 - we're not ready for you yet anyway. Think about it, though. The place that we're probably going to end up living is about half an hour from Providence, about an hour from Boston, and apartments start at about $400/$450 for 1 bedrooms, and go up about $100 more for each room. (Yes, seriously - and not in a shitty place either) Zephyr and I will be there (duh), so even if we only had one more roommate, it'd be about $500 split three ways. Anyway, just putting that out there. It may take a while before we get this up and running, but it WILL happen. Amylynn, Blueberry, and Lani have made us realize that we really don't like living without camp people, so we're going to have to insist on this house. Reply

Also, yay for Obama! :D —Cassia Reply

Reading this post made me so excited about life, even though I won't be ready to move out for several years yet. But still. ♥ ~BlueberryEmily

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Basically? I'm homesick for that hotel room. —guess Reply

Oh man, me too. So much. ~someone else

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Me too. Of course, I have 2/5 of the inhabitants in my room, but still. -it's so top secret who I am, clearly

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I am so homesick. I don't know where it came from or why...but its taking all I have to stay here right now. I keep reminding myself that I'm living my dream, that I'm in the country I love, that there are people who deeply care for me, that I can do anything, and go anywhere I want. But emotions don't really listen to logic, do they? Maybe its feeling constantly sick from the medications for my stomach. Maybe its the lack of sun. Maybe its the fact that I spent so much of Christmas break in hospitals and doctors offices that I didn't seem to be home. Maybe its winter. I don't know. I just feel isolated and forgotten in the sleet and rain. I feel like home is unbearably far and all I want is to sleep in my old bed and not have to schedule a time to talk to my parents because of the time difference. I just want to watch Star Trek with my sister and my dog and eat spagetti. I want to be home. —Bean Reply

Okays. If you have time on your hand, heres the solution — play. a . video. game. I might suggest an MMORPG (yknow the online ones with other people). yeah. that'll help I promise.

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I don't know where this post belongs, but this will have to do... I don't think I've ever been so unbearably frightened and sad in my entire life as I am right now. I don't like to cry, and I tried so hard not to tonight, but now I am and I can't seem to stop. I've seen so much beauty in this world, but lately things keep showing and reminding me of how very, very fucked up it is, too. All I want is to scream and cry and shout at someone who'll listen and care and tell me that I'm fine, I'm beautiful, life is beautiful, and that in a few days this will all just be a blur and I will recover. And of course it's 2:30 in the morning, my family are all asleep, and I can't call anyone because I would likely wake them up, or I'd feel awful for unloading on them. Reply

I don't know what to do. Reply

I'm scared. Reply

It's no longer 2:30 in the morning, and you may no longer need someone, but if you do, I am totally available. Plus, I'm pretty darn good at the whole reassurance thing. My e-mail address is ebullience at comcastdotnet if you're interested. <3 —Cassia

-Harper will be leaving for BCT in 5 days. He'll be swearing in on the 20th. He is very excited, but will miss you all terribly. He'd love to hear from you all, and regrets being a little too busy and way too lazy to initiate contact himself. Reply

P.S. He still hasn't figured out why he always posts Check Ins in the third person. Reply

Oh goodness. Reading all those lists of the contents of of backpacks, shoulder bags, side bags, messenger bags, and so on, has made me too intimidated by the mess of stuff in my own bag to attempt such a list. A sure sign of the direction my life is headed: awesome, but possibly a little too cluttered to properly appreciate it. Hows that for using close at hand sources for metaphor? -Dandy Reply

Heya all. So it has been a LONG time since I checked in on here. Boy do I have to much going on right now. I have a new puppy (well I've had her about 2 months now) and she is awesome, I'm not really working much which is kinda nice in some ways but I really wish I was working more. I need the umph to get going for my day. One of the things that is bothering me is that despite having tons of time on my hands I'm not getting anything done. Then I get to the end of the day and having gotten nothing done really bums me out. But even with the best intentions to get things done I seem to waste time all day and... Well blah. Yeah thats how I feel about that. And then I, who have never really had mood swings at all have started having these depression and anxiety swings that are driving me nuts. I'll be totally fretting over stuff that doesn't even matter, making it hard to sleep and then there are times when I just feel like crying a little for no reason at all and it's driving me crazy! Grr. Oh well. I suppose I'll get over it eventually. I think I'm gonna start by going to take a shower and go to bed. Night all. Reply

—Ruth ♁ Reply

Tomorrow, I will be seeing Amylynn and Lani. Wednesday, Zephyr, Amylynn, and I will all be exploring Disney World. Saturday, Blueberry will be joining us. I will be spending ten days with amazing, amazing people, and I am SO excited...even though I'm basically going to be broke forever because of it. Who cares? :p —Cassia Reply

Just checking to say hello. I am doing all right. I sell shoes, go to college full time, and I'm throwing raves and club nights with a friend. All of which is going pretty well. I am going to be on AIM more so if anyone wants to message me there, that would be grand. I miss being in with the camp crowd, it's been a long time. I've already reconnected with some great people but it would be nice to reconnect with more. My sn on AIM is wingnutlives, and I'm on myspace too as myspace.com/wingnutlives Reply

Love, Eireann Reply

In the theme of :haven't been here in a long while:... hi! And I wanted to say I met the man I am going to marry five weeks ago and the depth of our commitment to learning and growing with each other is profound and I have never been this happy. Unfortunately, I want to wait until I graduate college before I get married so we have to wait another year and a half. As far as I'm concerned though, finding my life-partner soul-mate love-of-my-life at age 19 makes me pretty darn lucky. Love to you all, Maia L-P Reply

So barely anyone around here knows who I am anymore, but I thought I'd drop by to announce that I'm 12 weeks pregnant and very excited and want the ENTIRE WORLD to know about it! -FionA Reply

*** Yay! Congratulations!!! Best of luck with the pregnancy and baby :) Keep us updated! —CeCi
Ditto! Congrats — that's so awesome! -AndyP
That's great! Congratulations! -Eireann

Last night I introduced my boyfriend and girlfriend to a large portion of my extended family (grandma, two uncles, an aunt, three cousins). It went amazingly. Reply

I love them, how they're quirky and silly then calm and rational, and just them in general. Reply

- AlexG Reply

I'm feeling really sad lately. The kind of sad that is just there, and there to such an extent that it hurts me to my core. I never understood fully the term heartbroken until this week. I'm heartbroken and it hurts so bad. The worst part is that I know it's only beginning. I think that the next few months-year will get even harder and messier and I hope I don't lose her in my life for good. She is my best friend and I feel like I'm being torn apart from losing her. I'm just so sad. I don't want us to be over, not like this. Reply

That sounds tough *hugs*

I thought I'd throw a small update of what I've been up to in here for the heck of it. :P Reply

I went to challenge day three days running, and gave bboying a shot for the second time ever, it was pretty damn fun. If you don't know what Challenge day is, Google it, it's a pretty damn awesome event. At the same place I got to talk in front of over 100 people, that was kick-ass. Which reminds me, I was going to write and essay/blog post about it, gotta get that done. Reply

I learned to do a kip up. Reply

I also learned to do the 6 step. Reply

I wrote free hugs on the back of a T-shirt and got a few people to sign it. Reply

I started learning to play don't worry be happy on the guitar, along with Viva la Vida. Reply

I missed 3 workout sessions due to being sick, :( Reply

I Participated in a cigarette butt pick up, we found over 4,000 in and around the public park where it is illegal to smoke, over 1,000 of them were found in 'kids town' as the name suggests it's were the younger kids generally go to play. Reply

I learned to bake chocolate chip cookies, Peanut butter cookies, and cheese cake. Reply

I found a way to mimic the banana chocolate smoothie served at the local Starbucks, using whey protein powder, milk, ice, and bananas. Reply

I learned to do a bboy freeze, though I can't remember the name of it. Reply

I went on a jakie chan movie watching spree. Reply

I managed to walk on my hands a bit while doing handstands. Reply

I got my hearing in my left ear back. It had been plugged with back drafted mucus from my nose for the last few days. (I know, ewwww.) Reply

I decided WAR is an awesome song. Reply

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7EASUjP8Qs Reply

I've learned singing and dancing whenever and where ever is freaking fun as hell! Reply

So, dance~ ! yakri~ Reply

I'm breathing. Today is a good day. I'm determined today, that I can do this. I found out this week I could have Multiple Sclerosis. I am breathing. I get testing in january, along with the lyme disease testing. I'm not that mad, really. I'm just looking forward to feeling better, however I have to do that. I probably shouldn't laugh when I say I take 50 pills a day, but I think it's just incredible and hilarious that I take so many things just to function. New years resolutions are usually about health, mine is about getting diagnosed with two life altering disease, I think that's not the idea, but, again I think thats funny. Laughter is the best medicine, so I keep on laughing. I have Hot in here playing over the speakers and enjoying my time watching greys anatomy. Keep breathing, Keep laughing. —CeCi Reply

The best part of my life right now is the new friendships I've forged with my flatmates. I didn't know some of the girls I moved in with, and I was dead certain that I would never get along with them...and I've grown so close to them, and it feels like a good honest relationship based solely on the people involved, not like a lot of friendships I have that seem to have been based on the exclusion and dislike of other people. I like the atmosphere we've built our house on, its really grand!! Reply

The worst part of my life is the builders working next door who start work at 7 am. We live in a terraced house in a block, so they are literally in the room next to me sawing and hammering and drilling and telling each other to fuck off in thick Yorkshire accents at SEVEN AM!!! I HATE MORNINGS. :D —Bean Reply

hey all, this is Harper. I've been doing pretty good, in spite of what it sounds like when I bitch about how tired I am. Another week and a half of school and then a month of freedom :D Reply

In other news; if you haven't already heard about my new years/going away party, and you're interested, let me know. Reply

And if you are capable of texting, and want to do me a favor for which I will be forever indebted to you, let me know about that too Reply

I hope you are all having a wonderful winter —Harper Reply

I text and would do you a favor —Molly

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Of course you do, and of course you would. Because you're awesome. In a massivly hardcore way.

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I just want to say how dare you have gone to Arizona when I'm not there. :P —Bean
I text as well- constantly. And favors I can do, if they are doable. :) Wow. That made sense. Also, if you have some magic way to get me to your party for free, then I would love to go. However... Not sure that's possible. —Lani

Hey Harper, I can text though I don't do it too often, and I wouldn't mind helping you out either if I can do it from north Cali. And I wish I could make it to your party, but I don't think there is any way I could get down there. :\ yakri~

I don't do lazy. I'm bad at being lazy. And here I am doing it. Haha. I'm walking thin ice to being put on mandatory bed rest. I work to hard. I do too much. I fight too hard to be everything. I stayed in bed until 3 today. I feel worse then the days I wake up, go to school and pull at 10 hour shift. Those days are hard, but atleast I'm doing something. I haven't left the house in two days and I'm going stir crazy. I don't do lazy. Reply

In other news, I could have lyme's disease! It is the newest grasp for straws to explain why I need to be on mandatory bed rest. I get testing in january. Simple testing, complicated recovery. Mind you I'm supposed to just quit everything and heal. Who can do that? Just .. stop and be doing nothing. I will go crazy if I have to be cared for on that level where I can't work. I'm beginning to think this belongs in bitchbox... Reply

Happy things? I love my job, I have a wonderful boyfriend (but he also belongs on the list of things that suck, being that he's halfway around the world.. but I adore him anyway) and my new apartment has a peach wall. Reply

I'm breathing. Reply

—CeCi Reply

Did you know that I've had Lyme's Disease when I was 5 and 7? I was re-tested in early 2007 and they came back very positive. I went on a year of varied antibiotics and was pain free for a while. I never was tested again to see if it was gone (the test wasn't covered by my insurance) but the pain has come back and I assume I still have it. I assume my body pain is mostly from Lyme's. Lyme's causes neurological stuff, too. My mom, sister, and close friend all have/had Lyme's and did the antibiotic thing. I'd love to hear about your test results and such. Good luck. ~Newt

—Harper is about to drive to Arizona. If you've been looking for one of the very few times he's not busy so you can call him and chat, some time between 8:00 tonight (Thanksgiving) and around noon tomorrow would be a great time to do it :) His cell phone number is 831 332 9157 He can't guarantee he'll be able to answer right away, but feel free to leave a message and he'll call you back when able. Reply

Also, he's not sure why, but he started writing this post in the third person and it just kinda stuck. Harper loves you all very much. —Harper Reply

—Lani loves Harper too, and Oh my god!!! If you're coming through Denver you HAVE to stay or visit me! Sleep on my couch! —Lani Reply

Right now i am really busy in a good way mostly i am working on music alot (probably about three hours a day) and going to the horses every day for about an hour and a half 4 days a week and about 7 hours 3 days a week on average and staring at the wall alot and trying to have at least one good conversation with people outside of my familly everyday because i found that i am verry extraverted and thats when i do best, i am also taking pictures alot so yeah just trying to do what i love to do :)i still miss you guys and camp like crazy but i think everybody does ♥ ~DanielleT Reply

So productive! I admire that...reading that I feel like I do so little. Kudos to you! ~Newt

I just wanted to say, I'm single, and for the first time in years, I am so happy without a man. After Ethan my self esteem died and I went through a few months of nasty sluttishness and then I met Theo and he showed me men can be trustworthy and I got most of my confidence back and now I am single and it's fine and I don't need men the way I used to. I'm okay, more than okay, I'm thrilled and free and it is so snazzy jazzy and I can be just friends with guys again and I have a crush but don't feel like I have to throw myself at him and I would be fine being single for years until I find someone really worthy of my love and I feel like myself for the first time since I was sixteen. I'm writing a new novel and travelling and making new friends and going on mad 4am adventures and fire dancing and raising my baby rat and looking into a back country program for the spring and I'm perfectly, totally, real and it feels amazing. Oh and Kay is the coolest cat ever - CassiaLuna Reply

Hey people, the strangest thing happened yesterday.I was staying over at my cousins' house, and at about 11 at night, while we were half-heartedly watching a Jackie Chan movie, we heard a rapping, we all ignored it, except for me. I was sitting in the perfect position for looking out the front window, onto their porch, and when I did, I saw two random people, a man and a woman, early twenty-looking, staring at us with hopeful/apologetic eyes. We laughed for a moment, then recalled the ridiculousness of the situation. They weren't going to open the door, but I thought that was totally unfair, so I opened the door and asked what they wanted, they asked us for a gas station.. being pretty surprised and off-balance with the whole situation we sorta slammed the door in their face, not knowing off-hand where the nearest one was.. *ahem* Anyway, I haven't been posting on wiki for a while, and I probably won't start now, I'll be reading though, and thinking of you, BEN IS WATCHING! Reply

Hey y'all. I'm sitting here on this fine morning in CA struggling through my homework and thought I would stop by and check in (if I even still know anyone on wiki anymore!) It's been a very long time, but such is the way of things. I'm back in CA for my last year of college after having spent the year in France which was the most rewarding and also hardest thing I have ever done. I live in a cute little house on Moss Ave with three other girls and mostly it's really good—I love not living in a dorm or with a host family. I'm in the last few weeks of working on my senior thesis so I'm a little bit crazy right now. I work two different jobs (on campus food-prep and babysitting little french children) I do insane amounts of homework, I sit out on the porch with my friend and talk, I go to cute cheap bars, I cook yummy food ect ect. All in all life is going pretty well. Hopefully I'll be able to Jr. Staff at camp this fall since I will have graduated (!!!!!) and will not have to be in school anymore (!!!). Reply

Lately I've been thinking about all of the amazing camp friendships that I have let slide or that life has let slide of something and that makes me sad because more and more as I meet new people and search for a community in various places I realize that you all are just so damn amazing and I don't want to loose that. Reply

Also I'm thinking about what to do after I graduate and if anyone has experience working with AmeriCorps or anything like that I'd like to talk about it. Reply

—Franny Reply

Jr Staff?! Eee! I'm applyin alsog, along with half the world (i.e. a lot of folks graduated the past two years). Anyway. I live in Portland and probably still will next September and if I don't see you at Camp, I'd love to see you here. I live in the Winch and when I moved in I found a copy of Echoes of Light on the bookcase. It's really good to see you on wiki. ~Newt

I'm a little nuts recently, but its in a good way. knitting myself some lovely dark brown tweed-like armwarmers (well, wristwarmers), that I'll put some shiny buttons on. I'll be sure to take pictures. They'll go fabulously with my blazer, and maybe if I pick up a corded blazer at a thrift store. I've also been washing my face religiously playing with my hair and respecting my appearance. I've read two books this month, and I'm getting straight A's as far as I know. Two weeks left and I have two research papers to write, and one exam and one performance and thats about it. Shazam. I get to register this Friday - Astronomy, History of Western Civ - modern europe, Set Design, and Sociology Peace and Conflict. —Molly Reply

Someone needs to come visit Zephyr and I in Massachusetts right this now. We could go to Cambridge and Brookline and Boston and Cape Cod and all sorts of other awesome places. Peezcakes? I miss you crazy kids. —Cassia Reply

How soon does right this now need to be? I'm working on it but I don't think I can make it out of the state until MAYBE January. ~ACertainFruitGirl

Roughly seconded; and you've been emailed accordingly. :)

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I don't know who you are, rough seconder, but I don't seem to have gotten your e-mail... —Cassia

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Right now, I'm using up my last few minutes on the computer at the library, before heading back to the green to help with Food Not Bombs clean up. Yesterday was a good day. I worked from 8-3, hung out at the Infoshop with Diana and her roommate, Marty, eating chinese food and licorice, and drinking a six pack of hard apple cider that we made Marty buy. We half-assedly tried to make halloween costumes out of cardboard, and biked to the green for Critical Mass, which was really unusually fun for the Critical Masses here, and went to the halloween-themed after party. Our friend Zack came in a huge Easter Bunny mask that we couldn't talk to or hear him through, with dumpstered peppermint chocolate which we ate while drunkenly playing and singing Johnny Hobo songs on the guitar. We spent the rest of the night trying to do tricks on our bikes, hanging out in playgrounds even though it was freezing, and finally, falling asleep on my couch while watching Serenity. I made it through the entire day without eating any candy, but plan to eat a lot of it today. That was my Halloween. How was yours? —Rebecca Reply

Lately I've been freezing my butt off, baking various yummies, hiking around mossy green train tracks, listening obsessively to Neutral Milk Hotel, spending Epic amounts of time in the library reading cheesy novels about people finding the meaning of their lives.....and....Um. I've started dancing again, per my camp resolution!! Lindy Hop, yay! And I'm not happy in school right now. Which is not good. But I'll figure it all out. While freezing my butt off. Because its freaking cold. :D —Bean Reply

ps. I miss you people. Reply

Over the last two months, five people have had dreams about me and said so. On one hand, I feel massively warm and fuzzy and loved, but on the other, I feel like a bit of a dick because I don't dream about anyone I care about. Mind you I think about you guys every single night as I fall asleep, but then I dream about watching endangered Herons (the bird) having oral sex from a canoe. I mean, WTF? Sanity, why have you forsaken my restful brain? Reply

In other news today, I love ASL and I'm listening to 'Springtime for Hitler.' Emmy baby, I lurves your profile. Reply

May you all have a good night filled with dreams of something interesting and cohesive. —Harper Reply

It takes so little effort to write in here once in awhile... I really have no excuse not to. Today I sewed up a hole in my pants, and went to my friend's house. We complained about people who are causing us stress in our lives lately, and then walked to our print-making class. After that, I went to the loft of someone whom I did not know, to attend a show he was hosting. I got to meet the Calgarian that I am organizing a show for on Saturday, and listen to some rather decent music. On the way home, the steadily falling rain caused me to arrive at my front steps with a wet bum. But all in all, it's been a pretty good day. I hope you can say the same, dear reader. -Dandy Reply

my life is going great right now, i am going free huging (if you want to come let me know) my horse is doing great i am really lovin riding right now, i have been playing guitar a lot and i am getting the piano sheet music to 100 years soon, i am still wanting to learn poi and visit campers and that has not happend yet but i am working on it *hugs* ~DanielleT Reply

Walking around New York City the past couple days, I kept seeing things and people that reminded me, in odd little ways, of camp. (I saw someone today with hair like Aubry's - really long and really red - and had to do a double take to make sure it wasn't her.) It's making me miss camp so much, even months later. A few weeks ago I found myself planning conversations I would have and things I would do next year. Thank god I have one last year. Reply

I'm on a trip with my family right now. Traveling always gives me a feeling of wanting to do things, have projects, learn more, and then I get home and return to being complacent again, and don't do anything. But this time I can't let that happen. Balance! Balance is the key. Balance between internet and life. I want to keep getting better at French and guitar, and get some facts straight on my historical knowledge (taking that world history class confused me more than it cleared things up...) and start writing again. I really, really want to start writing again. Reply

So this is a check in and also a reminder to myself for when I get home: this is what I want to do when I'm not sucked into some computer game. —Selesen Reply

I've been going through a lot of emotional rockiness as of late. I'm not sure why. I blame October. Fuck you, October. I live in Portland with amazing people and we do amazing things on Saturday nights together. Somedays I feel like my skin was made for me to be in, and those are the days I hold onto. Lately, though, everything has been feeling wrong and I've been smacking the sides of my head with the heels of my hands to try to shake myself back into me. Reply

In the past 10.5 months, I've moved three times and had four different jobs. For the first time this year, I have a job I plan to stay at. This terrifies me. I plan to be in Portland awhile. I don't plan to run. But running is what I do best. I am good at aloof, distant, separated. I am good at holding myself back because there are bigger, better things awaiting me. But that's not how it is here: this is the bigger, this is the better, this is what is awaiting me. Am I ready to be this vulnerable? Reply

I love you. Reply

~Newt Reply

I'm dealing with a lot of uncertainty right now. I don't know if things are going to get better. Thankfully I have a brilliant, sweet, amazing show that I'm in with high-energy castmates, I'm making some friends at school, and I'm learning. That's all for now. —CaitliN Reply

Theo spent the weekend with me. We made pumpkin cookies and played magic the gathering and watched movies and played with Sprocket and ran around climbing on stuff at the park. Even though it sucked missing Wolfram's party, I'm really happy right now. It was like we had just fallen for each other again. I woke up during the night and his arm was around me. He even complimented my langerie faye and I got together. I mean, seriously, it's like he's a different, more lovable person. And his mohawk is uber cute. He's not perfect, but neither am I. I've spent so much time writing unhappy check ins, I figured I'd write a smiley one for a change. Reply

CassiaLuna (signing something on wiki for once) Reply

uuuuuuugggghhhhhh I'm not going to even try to summarize, so lets leave it at this; I'm tired, annoyed, frustrated, and completely fed up with drama. Right now I would really like to hear why I'm attractive, why you love me, or basically any news that is good and devoid of sarcasm or caveats. Reply

—Harper Reply

Hey, I love you. We should keep in touch more. I just think you're a super rad, incredible person and you're really strong, and also really sweet at the same time. So, yeah. —Molly

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I could go on and on about you, but you (and others) might find it slightly creepy, so I'll restrain myself. Let me just say that you are an amazing person, I admire you a lot, and I find you incredibly attractive. I really miss you. ~Someone who isn't going to sign but is probably a pretty easy guess

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You're really one of the coolest and most admirable people I know, you=amazing, and you use the word caveats :). Ben

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While flitting around Wiki, it occurred to me that I'm not going to camp next year. Or the next year. Or the next. Or the year after that. Or any of them. Reply

(This is presuming that I don't come back as staff, which I'm gonna try like hell to do.) Reply

...I don't really know what to do with that thought. At all. It's not really processing. At all. I graduated. Um...mergle? —Cassia Reply

I have an idea how you feel. I didn't even think about the fact that I'd never go to camp again until the last day. Even now, things that I'd like to do at camp keep popping into my head and I get halfway into planning them before remembering that I'm not going.

It's hard, but it'll sink in sooner or later. hugs Reply

—Harper Reply

I'm going to miss both of you (and all the graduates and otherwise non-returning people) soooo much next year. I miss you both already. :( ~BlueberryEmily

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completly seconded ~DanielleT

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Oh man, it really hurts knowing I won't see either of you again, (at least in that context) and it hurts me knowing you won't be coming back (empathy pain). in short: I'll really miss you two. Ben

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http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=11240 Reply

Hey everyone, I am active on etsy (royaboya dot etsy dot com) and I managed to snag a much coveted treasury! Please oh pleas go to etsy dot com and get yourself a user name (free!) and click click click on my treasury! The more people look at it, the better chance it has of getting to the front page which is amaaaazing publicity. Reply

THANK YOU! Reply

—Roya royaboya dot etsy dot com royaboya dot blogspot dot com Reply

Roya, the link isn't working for me.

I hate being alone. I hate falling asleep cold and waking up hugging a pillow. I hate not having anyone to really talk to. It's only in the last few weeks that I really appreciated how special this community is, and how much I'm going to miss it. How much I miss it already. Every day I look forward to spending just a little more time with campers. Reply

I don't use the word love at all lightly, but if I've said it regarding you, even if I seemed casual, I meant it. I really love some of you. And I'm going to make sure you know. Reply

—Harper (feeling melodramatic and needing sleep) Reply

things i miss about camp Reply

being able to walk up to anybody and start a conversation
CampHugs
feeling so loved
walking around and there will be sombody playing guitar or slack lining or lying in a people puddle or playing big booty or ultimate frisbee
swiming in the river
tea
all the people
singing together
doing kitchen dishis
and our team dishit
advisie group
what are you doing ?
improv project
i feel like where in a 80's music video
staffer/camper imitations :)
deep conversations
planing bonding night

and so much else ~DanielleT

Oh man, I'm right there with you on everything, and I think it's really funny and awesome that you miss kitchen dishes. Hugs. —Rebecca Reply

http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/bulkmailer/ Reply

http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/ Reply

I miss camp! Reply

—Zen Reply

Seconded! ~BlueberryEmily
Thirded. —Selesen
Doesn't it go without saying? -JuliaL
I miss you guys!! Ben

i am doing great i had pcd (post camp deppresion ) for a little while but it is mostly pci (post camp insparation) that is happening now, i miss you guys like crazy you dont know what an impact on my life you all have made and i am going to try really hard to keep in touch :)—-DanielleT Reply

damn, now I feel like a hypocrite. I spend so much time telling so many people that I am always there if they want or need someone to talk to, and a few people have told me the same... I love being the one who gets the call at two in the morning, I love the chance to help people... Reply

So this morning I was feeling scared and alone and I really needed to vent, and I tried to post on the wiki but it wasn't uploading and I gave up. It was only a few minutes ago that I realized that there are probably people who would be willing to listen if I called them. darn. Reply

sighs

well, I'll try to remember that next time. Other then that school has started and I'm good, I love my ASL class :) Reply

—harper Reply

Help! I need the title of the Abandon Ship song that they played at second session prom. I've had it stuck in my head for days, but I don't remember the title! Reply

Birdsong. It's one of my favorites. :)

Did they really play that at prom? I know they played it at the concert, which was amazing, but I didn't know that it got played at prom. I wish I'd stayed later now.

Reply
Yeah I think I remember them playing it, could be wrong though. There was break dancing later too, though I think I kinda made a fool of myself there. :P yakri~

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dont worry about it everyone makes a fool of themselves a bit but we are all to woryed about ourselves to pay atention to other people so no one even notices : )—-DanielleT

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Yeah, it was def. Birdsong at the prom too :-) -EmilyG

I am imagining if I were at camp again...you know that feeling of being inspired and knowing that you have it in you to make the changes you need to make this year? Knowing you have the full support of every camper from the first session to the last session behind you? I am trying to live vicariously through everyone who is actually there this year and tap into that feeling. Reply

I am sitting here at my 'real job' only thinking about how to make royaboya.etsy.com work. Are there any other campers on etsy? Reply

What about blogspot? I am royaboya.blogspot.com, is there anybody else out there? Reply

I miss campers. Let me know who's out there! Reply

—Roya Reply

I'm feeling pretty super tired. Last year I marathon slept a record (for me) 14 hours. This year I got only 12.... Reply

I'm glad to be home, but not really feeling like I am here yet. Wishing I was at camp still... Reply

I just keep thinking I'll go back any time now. Reply

I love you all! You made my last year incredible. Reply

Ellen Reply

I am so ready for nbtsc! And excited! The changing fall leaves reflected in the lake.. cold early mornings and killer tea... wearing snow pants every night.. kybos.. Yep, it's starting to feel like that time of year! Reply

I'll miss Gayatri and yoganidra though. Reply

I love the fall. —Kayla Reply

Fuuuuck I miss camp. This paragraph almost made me cry. :( -Betsy
Aw Betsy I miss you being at camp! Maybe you could staff next year.. —Kayla

To add on, this is from an email to a friend: Reply

Ohhh I am SO excited to drive up the long winding lanes and finally make my way to the driveway by the lake and see all the staffers checking people in and confused new campers wandering toward them and screaming laughing excited multicolor-haired people bounding toward me for hugs who I haven't seen all year. I'm excited for confusedly trying to figure out which cabin I'm in and realizing wow I didn't even think there were cabins that far away! And finding out where the nearest kybo is and who else is in my cabin and claiming a corner bottom bunk bed in attempts to be less exposed to the night air in the two (three if you're lucky) sided cabins. And forgetting my flashlight in all the excitement and having to find a new friend to walk me back to my cabin when I'm ready for bed. —Kayla Reply

One of my favorite things about nbtsc is the community, and how all of us always felt that together, things could get accomplished. Reply

That idea continues with wiki, and I am always amazed, impressed, in awe, and enthralled by the community that we keep alive from all these miles and miles away from each other. Reply

That said, it's been a few years since I've gone to camp, but every year when everyone else is posting their pre camp posts, I still get sad that I am not going to be there. Reply

So I am asking all of you a favor. I am trying to realize some of my dreams, dreams that nbtsc influenced, and I need the help of this community. Reply

Please go to royaboya.etsy.com and help support a camper in accomplishing her goals! Camp for me was always about figuring out how to get that feeling that you get that week during the rest of my life. Something that does that for me is the feeling of making a living doing the things that I love. I think this is the avenue I want to pursue. Please send that website along to anyone and everyone that you know. Join etsy yourself, and add me to your favorites, I'd love to see more creative campers out there. Reply

Thank you all, and have a blast at camp! Reply

—Roya Reply

It's four in the morning and I just finished another episode of Torchwood. This one song from it - Owen's Theme, kind of makes me feel like I'm watching my own life from above in this really overly theatrical way. Something from some drama film or something.
I dropped off my rats at Emily's. It's weird to have the room so quiet at this time at night. Saw Lani as well!

Cassia is getting here at around 7pm tomorrow (This is, of course, assuming that she actually finished packing (or on the opposite end of that spectrum arrives with like 6 monster bags, in which case she will indeed be sleeping under a bush) and doesn't miss her connection and everything else that could go terribly wrong) and I'm ridiculously excited. I also need to finish laundry and finish cleaning my room.
I can't really comprehend that camp is on Monday. I'm not even that excited because it isn't really registering. I'm starting to set my stuff aside for packing and such. Oh my god.

I want to start swimming again. As well as Ultimate frisbee this fall. I feel like exercise will keep me going.
My wisdom teeth are coming in and there is no room for them. This is very unfortunate because I'm going to have to get them out like next spring or summer and that is going to be expensive and painful.

I'm really, really happy with my riding right now. Me and this horse just click. It feels amazing to have her be so light, all the energy from forward movement coming underneath her and pushing instead. The canter is probably slower than how it used to be, but I just feel like I'm flying yet I'm completely in control - there is no pressure on the reins she's so light.

—Molly Reply

So I am leaving tomorrow afternoon for Molly's house, which is in Portland, which means epic plane trips of death. Then she is taking me to Monroe Park, where I will see some of you lovely people. This is a list of some of what I have done instead of packing: Reply

written and sung a song about how I would rather have sex with a yak than pack
eaten too many chocolate chips
played with my bellybutton
left voicemails that are far too long on people's cell phones, ran out of space, and re-recorded them while going on and on about how I am really disinclined to pack
lurked in my bathroom for no particular reason
read the entire camp brochure and handbook, all 30-something pages
played with my bellybutton some more
wrote this CheckIn post

Can you see that I really hate packing? The terrible thing is that I'm actually doing better at this than I normally am. Yerple. I hate packing. (No, REALLY?) —Cassia Reply

Been a while since I've written on this thing. Reply

I'm not attending camp this year. Instead I'm going to college, and I'm going to study psychology, pre-algebraic math, and theatre. And as camp has drawn closer and closer, I've begun to realize how much I'm going to miss the place. It started out as a dull ache, and now I'm finding myself crying as I'm writing this. Reply

Why? Camp was beautiful. And I found it to be at once an intensely real and intensely ethereal experience. Perhaps I was alone in this, but it felt removed; and each time the mists enveloped it in the early mornings, I'd find myself wondering at how it would vanish in and out of the fog like the isle of Avalon; and that's how it got sorted in my mind. This intangible place, one outside of the world, and one that went away until the next year, where it was waiting, unfolding, to the lucky people who got to create magic for a week or two out of their lives. And then I'd return home from it, resolving to do better with my life, and in small ways I guess I did. Reply

Camp didn't change me, though, for all that it affected me. I changed me. And camp gave me the frame of mind to see how - nothing more, or nothing less. Reply

It's the only place I've scoured myself raw and let other people touch my soul. I managed to fall in love there, for a single breathless week, and it was joyful. I played my music, and I watched people smile, and I understood and was understood in return. I had fun. I lived. It was joyful, too - and now, as I'm finding, painful as I begin to miss it. And that, ultimately, is what's motivating me to write this rambling bit of text. It's something of a goodbye, because I doubt I'm ever going to go back, but while it was there, I needed it; it made me feel slightly less crazy, and I love absolutely everyone who shared that time with me. All those crazy, beautiful people. Reply

And so life goes on. I can only hope that I manage to recreate what I discovered, as a result of these stolen weeks out of years: A small measure of the soulful, deep beauty of life. I've got a good chance of finding it, too. It's going to be okay. And for all of you that read this - life is awesome. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts. Reply

PatrickC

EDIT P.S.: Feel free to contact me, too. I'll enjoy it. Reply

I kind of knew this was coming after last year, but holy crap, I am going to miss you. What's the best way to get in contact with you? I really, really hope you know how amazing I think you are, and how much of a friend I've always considered you. big, big hugs to you. —Cassia
That's really beautiful, I'm going to copy that, and keep it. Then, when someone asks me about camp, I'll show them that. You should send that to Grace or the NBTSC website people, so they can put it in the testimonials. *HUG*

Thank you for writing this.

*In reply to Cassia: There's my e-mail, and any other means mentioned in my page; and then if you have the directory, you can send me letters, too. Anything, really - and a brief moment aside to thank everyone for the nice replies here. They've made my day. *hugs back* -PatrickC
I'll miss you, Patrick. Thanks for writing. I agree with you about a lot of things, and I hope your adventures going forward are fabulous. Love, AndyP

Patrick! I miss you. It feels so weird to not be going to camp this year.. I remember hanging out with you lots my first year and that was really cool.. and what you wrote was really powerful. Camp has always felt so disconnected from the rest of the world.. like, all the issues of real life don't matter at camp. they are on hold for the time being while nbtsc is going on. and nbtsc does have some.. magical element to it, where it just felt that, to me at least, no matter what drama or situation was going on, there was no place I'd rather be or no people I'd rather be around. hmm. I'm glad you posted this. It was nice to reflect. You should email me if you want! I'd love to chat, though I really suck at responding to emails at all fast. Emie17 at gmaildotcom =) —EmilySanders

Well, Tomorrow I'm leaving for OR, I'm so incredibly PSYCHED! Reply

I can't wait to be at camp!! thats all.. :) Reply

Physically, I'm much better than I was. Still looking for answers to whats wrong and how to stop the cycle, but life is essentially back on track and thats good. I'm excited for camp and I'm getting excited to move into my new house in five weeks. Weird stuff is happening in my life, but thats not really new. Hope everyone else is doing well, and see many of you soon! :D —Bean Reply

DynamyInternshipYear Reply

I'm happy. So very very happy. I'm seeing a fantastic person who is as strange as I am and not afraid to show it. Beautiful day. Beautiful birthday weekend. Heaven above me I hope this lasts... —CeCi Reply

In case you were wondering, I am still alive and well, but I will not be going to camp this year, it was a hard choice to make but instead I'm trying to buy a house and I don't think I could handle the stress of missing a week and a half of work, spending every penny I have to my name, and suddenly owning a house with a yard, trees and all that stuff, I don't own it yet but I'm working on it and with luck it will work out. In other parts of my life I have been staying really busy working, talking to people about electric cars, fixing my other electric car, swimming, taking classes on wind power and solar power so I can work as a consultant in those fields, simplifying my life, making soda and trying a few new things. —Ryland Reply

We'd have email. I've never been so excited about email in my life. Mind you it's entirely and completely NOT private by any means, but we'd have email! For anyone confused, please see the post below. I can do 70 days if I have email. This could work out... I'm knocking on wood anyway, feel free to do the same *knock on wood*. A very happy, excited, and ohsotired, —CeCi Reply

Now they think it's Lyme's Disease... I'm at an amused point with the western and alternative medicine areas of my life. I'm to the point where pretty much nothing scares me anymore. Poke needles into me, scan me, blast my body over and over with radiation, scratch my skin and take away foods.. I just don't care now. Just tell me whats wrong. Tell me what I have to do.. If this is lyme's, I have a 2-5 year road of recovery to set out on, but it doesn't scare me now. I'm ready to be told what I have, whatever it is. My life has shown me how to fight even to my last moment of sanity, how to fight even if I'm kicked when I'm down. Bring It On. Just tell me what It is ... Reply

In other news, I have dairy back (for those who know what dairy means to me, you'll share in my joy. for those who don't, assume it was like losing your favorite comfort food). My job is .. interestingly turning up for how much the people have pissed me off in the last 3 months and I'm pretty sure that tomorrow I will walk in to a written complaint from a patient who decided I was the devil. Reply

I'm trying to decide how dating someone in the Navy will affect me. I know what I'm getting into, but the question is if I can handle it. 70 day gaps without seeing him. Then 70 with. Then 70 without... for the next 4 years. I just don't know. I'm not even sure I'd be able to talk with him during those 70 days, and if I can't? That would be really really hard. Reply

So yeah, life is as complicated as ever and as expensive and taxing as ever. I'm still happy though, as always. I figure, if I keep laughing, one of these days that's all there will be; happiness. Reply

A tired, but forever moving forward, —CeCi Reply

I've had a really stressful week, but I just read the latest guestbook entry on ITYFG and now I'm glowing :) Reply

—Harper Reply

I just got out of the hospital. Its been a really painful week, and still is and I'd really appreciate any good thoughts. Thanks! —Bean Reply

::healing vibes:: How did you end up in the hospital?? Will everything be O.K.? Big hugs!! Are you at home, home—as in home listed in the camp directory? Hugs, Anna.
oh noes! I'm sorry, I didn't even know anything was wrong. I hope you keep getting better. I'd be happy to chat online or on phone if you'd like, and if theres anything else I can do to help, let me know. - HUGS -

—Harper Reply

Damn, Bean. That's not good, though I'm glad you're out of the hospital. What happened? Many healing thoughts your way, -AndyP

I would love to see a discussion on Bicycles! —Julia Reply

I am writing a paper for my English 11 class on new vs. used books. Describing the little noise that a new book makes when you open it, and the musty smell of a used book is almost making me pee from happiness. With the help of the internet, I found a used bookstore about a 15 minute drive from my house and I'm trying to not say to hell with my paper! and go visit it right now. (I think my English teacher would almost understand. No, she would understand, but she'd have to fail me anyway.) I'm obsessed with bookmooch.com and am eagerly awaiting a shipment of used manila envelopes, complete with little business cards advertising that website that I can leave all over the place. I'm also trying to figure out some genius master plan that involves me getting books off of BookMooch that people have been trying to get rid of forever, selling them to that bookstore, keeping enough of the money to cover gas, and then buying really popular, heavily wish-listed books (like the PostSecret books, or, back to my old habits, the TLH) and sending them to people for free. My mind is filled with words and stories and books right now, and I absolutely love it. This brilliant plan of finding new homes for books might be the only thing that keeps me sane if and when I can't take out any interlibrary loans anymore. I'm going to go finish my essay now, so I can hurry over to Paperback Junction and gawk for a while before beginning to put my master plan into effect. *sighs the kind of sigh that one might sigh after being kissed by an extremely beautiful person* —Cassia Reply

10 minutes post food challenge response test for milk... we'll see how this goes... —CeCi Reply

whoo! 2 days drinking milk. no real reactions so far. I might have dairy back. I say might because being too hopeful might bite me in the ass. *laughs* In other news, I chopped off 16 inches of hair and now have a very short hair style! Whee. Yes, I donated it. (pictures you ask? http://community.nbtsc.org/%7Ececi/photos/Pictures%20of%20me/index.php/slideshow?seq=12 ) —CeCi
Big congrats!! This is random, but you have an incredibly beautiful neck. Also, just curious, have you ever tried raw milk, and if so, did it affect you differently than pasteurized? —CaitliN

My life is 8 hours a day in an office of people meaning well sitting at these tall tall windows and most of the time happy with the light that comes in, and not wanting to get out. Sometimes, though, sometimes in the afternoon during the 2 pm glare that hits my computer screen my legs dance beneath me and all the trying to stay sat makes my shoulders ache. Reply

I do a workout challenge with a coworker and I started karate again. This week I keep feeling like I may be getting sick, but I drown myself in bottled water and if only there wasn't so much to keeping up a decently clean house I might get some sleep. Reply

I enjoy housekeeping immensely and sometimes I wonder how people do it effortlessly. It takes work! And I am not naturally good at it. I want to be able to sneak around putting warm hostess touches to everything but I barely keep dishes clean. Last night I was still in karate clothes at midnight standing at my sink. I made the lunches for today and then woke up and it's time for work. Reply

Last night I actually had a great and satisfying night, but today I have a headache and a sore throat. I went to my old job, Young Adventurers Day Care for the family picnic, got squealed at by a bunch of little kids, then went to a new karate class which was fun and taxing, then went out to eat with karate folk, got a discounted meal because I knew the manager, and then after all that went grocery shopping, then did dishes, etc. Reply

I'm tired! And mostly satisfied. But tired. Reply

Love my house, wish I had more time to spend in it. Love the beach, wish I went there every once in a while (seeing as it's five minutes away). Love my family, wish I saw them more too. Reply

This week I went to the Orange County Fair, saw some pig races, ate some fried foods. My dad invited me to go to a classical concert and picnic with him at the Hollywood Bowl. Matthew's blackbelt test is Sunday and I have an even for work (Bowling Blast) on Saturday. Next weekend I am going to Vegas for Adam's birthday. Reply

Right now, all I want to do is rest, read, and maybe one day, do something creative. Reply

—Roya Reply

Well It's been a while but I figured you all were due for an update on ME! Reply

I just got home about 2 weeks ago after spending 6 months living in Denver. (I am once again reminded why I DON'T live in a city. Anyhow I was there for paramedic school. It was awesome, intense, exhausting, way to much paperwork, 3 tons of textbooks, and did I mention awesome? But I am very happy to be done and home just to be out of the city and back to my regular life. Which speaking of, is working at the therapeutic riding program (www.sanjuanridingprogram.org), volunteering with the fire department and of course the ambulance, Going trail riding in the rain and mud and mosquitos, wrestling with irrigation pipe, and going 13 directions every day. Anyhow. I guess thats about it. Hugs to all of ya! —Ruth ♁ Reply

Craaaaaaaap. I am conflicted. Seriously conflicted. Do I move to North Dakota or not? There's a job opening that would be awesome to have... It's 3 days a week, money to cover anything I'd need, full insurance... but... It's North Dakota. And it means moving back in with my parents for a while... and I don't know. I just don't know. Crap. Reply

CeCi Reply

I've always thought that most people feel homosexual feelings at some point in their lives, but I've classified myself as straight anyway. But now, I think I may have a crush on a friend of mine, another girl (who's not straight herself). it's sort of the way I get about guys - wondering when I'll see her next, wondering if she'll reply to me on facebook, all that stuff. but, I don't have that lust feeling I get around guys I'm crushing on. I just really want to be good friends with this girl. I think I look up to her a lot; she has a lot of personality traits I wish I had. But usually when it's a same gendered friend like this, I just ask them to hang out. I don't sit around and wonder if they're thinking about me! Reply

I also have a bit of a crush on a guy friend of mine.. though this situation is strange because we have so many friends in common. when the two of us hang out, it is almost always with other people. and depending on the group we are with, we either hit it off great, or things are extremely awkward. and I'm just awkward around him, because he's pretty much hot as hell. so it's hard for me to get to know him better. Reply

I'm very confused right now! And I'm not signing my name because I feel weird confessing all this, and if I signed my name and certain people read it, they could easily figure out who I'm referring to in this, and that would just be very awkward. I just needed to get these thoughts out there! Reply

I have a rainbow nose ring! Lookie lookie! —Cassia Reply

Dear Lord, you are so gorgeous Cassia!! —CaitliN

WhatCanIMakeWith...? Reply

13 days without dairy. I hope to be back happily eating dairy by tuesday. I think my allergist is going to be confused as to how I feel worse without dairy. I gave this a great effort, I will have made it 18 days without dairy, that's a pretty good trial period considering I only made it roughly 5 days the first two times I tried this. Reply

In other news, the cancer center job hasn't called me back. But! I remain optimistic in finding a position somewhere. I will be getting a raise at my new job though, so it's a little tempting to stay there a while... We'll see. Reply

Despite the pain I've been in today, and that one little panic attack earlier, I'm doing pretty well. I get to see Kerry (Dragon) tomorrow. It's the little things in life to keep you going... Remember that. Reply

Sleepily, —CeCi Reply

I'm content. I'm baking and waiting for my money. I adore the former and loathe the latter. In 6 days I'm leaving for 2 weeks in Vermont and New York City and I don't fully realize how awesome this is. I'm seeing 4 Broadway shows, the dream of my lifetime. Yeah, whoa!! And I'll probably come back with a lot of maple syrup and have to make a lot of buckwheat pancakes and buttermilk waffles and fried mush and vegan oaty carob crunch and oh goodness!!! Tomorrow I make 30+ pies for my booth and I can't wait. Love to you all. —CaitliN Reply

Fans of folk/punk music and good times who live on the west coast should read the bulletin I am about to post to the bulletin board! -DanDy Reply

Saturday my production company starts our 2nd contract of the year (it's our first year). 6 weeks of NE Ohio it is. Someday I would like to stop feeling like the most responsible and dependable performer on the Ren circuit. Also, being a boss is weird. It makes me feel old. —Ezza Reply

Ow. Heartburn has got to be one of the cruelest parts of quitting dairy. I don't miss this. On the bright side it's making me eat every two hours. Hopefully I won't lose too much weight. Reply

I still don't know about that job, but damn do I want it. I just don't know if I'll get payed enough. It shouldn't be this complicated. Hah. Reply

It still burns. I have saturday and sunday off. This makes me happy. Reply

A seemingly random post brought to you by CeCi Reply

Hoooowwwwdeeeee wiki people! So WHOA I'm back home after three weeks of roadtripping with my roommate: we stared into the Grand Canyon and felt Grand, we ate ice cream in Sedona and then took off to Las Vegas! In Vegas we saw the Chippendales (positively the most terrifying experience of my entire life - never, ever again do I want to see that many greased naked men) and Phantom of the Opera (Vegas style, but amazing nonetheless) and Cirque Du Soliel (WHOA). Then we headed off to San Diego and got the worst sunburns of our lives (I'm not kidding: I blistered from my neck to my feet, and the skin on the backs of my knees cracked open. Grim, eh?) but thouroughly enjoyed our time on the beach anyways and didn't get eaten by great whites (yay!). Finally, we wound up in San Francisco and climbed piers and wandered the streets and wasted time in bookstores and drank good coffee and listened to jazz on the wharves and went to a play with two guys from London. I totally dig San Francisco. Then Lucy flew back to Manchester and I bussed back to Tucson and now WHOA I'm actually home and I'm 19 and practically broke and I bought a keyboard and am learning to play awesome piano and now I'm going to go bake as many loaves of bread as I feel like. :) —Bean Reply

—> What is this madness? You were in SanFran and I didn't get to hang out with you? * weepsemotears * Reply

well I'm glad you had a good trip and a good birthday :) —Harper Reply

I thought you lived in Santa Cruz?!?!?

I've seen a whole new (but not surprising) level of superficialness. I was dumped for not shaving. Seriously. Reply

In other news I am interviewing to get a job in the lab at a cancer center. So excited. I don't know if it will work out, but atleast I'm trying. I'm allergic to dairy. My withdrwal headaches are killing me but I think I'm going to be doing a lot better soon. Making it through. This is a good day, even tho I got dumped for a shallow reason. Reply

I try to remember these days, when I believe I can make it through all this stuff. Gotta keep breathing. It helps to remember that I still have the good days when I'm losing my mind... —CeCi Reply

damn, CeCi, that is so cool, good luck getting the job! —Ben
It made me laugh that you got dumped for not shaving, what an utterly lame reason for dumping someone!! And that job sounds pretty rad, good luck. —Bean

What are you gonna do for ZombieApocalypse Reply

Holy shit, I Crapped myself watching get smart last night, in the middle of the goddamn theater, it was fucking crazy, Top 2 funniest movies ever (with superbad) Reply

So anyway, i SHIT MYSELF in A MOVIE THEATER! Reply

only a little bit, but enogh that i flushed my boxers afterwards, in the movie theater, omg, so funny, seeeeee itttt!! Reply

Hello, darlings. I'm leaving tomorrow for my sister's best friend's wedding in San Francisco. I will be there until Monday and will have a bit of free time, so if anyone in the area wants to see my excellent self, hit me up with phone numbers. —Susannah Reply

I turned 16, inherited the 1988 Volvo Wagon that I grew up in, and I'm now driving myself everywhere. I feel weird. I feel old. I was late for the light hang this morning because no one is waking me up to drive me. It's strange. Driving alone is strange. I'm calmer, actually. I thought I would be scared. Reply

—Molly Reply

Of course you're not scared! You're one tough lady, lady. I love you. pee ess if you're old, I'm already dead. —Cassia

Hey, campers! I bid you greetings from Budapest, Hungary, where I will be for about 21 more hours before going to Romania. I'm having a great time traveling. Plus, I surprised one of my co-hostel-stayer-people by revealing that I was homeschooled. Him: I thought all homeschoolers were... um... Me: Insane antisocial religious fundamentalists who never leave their backyards? Him: Well, yeah. Me: Not so much. It was fun. Reply

Before Budapest I was in Israel with Taglit Birthright, which pays for 18 to 26 year olds to go to Israel if you're even slightly Jewish. That's right, free airplane ticket across the Atlantic, and free bed and board for 10 days. I highly recommend it, with a few reservations—go, because really, free ticket, and also I recommend the specific trip provider I went with, Livnot U'Lehibanot—but don't take anything they say at face value. They really, really want you to love Israel, so they show you the best parts. Which is awesome, and makes for a very fun trip, but I think everyone who goes should stay in Israel a bit afterwards, to see some of the racism and poverty and religious fundamentalism you don't get from the tour. Reply

Anyway, I'm having a terrific time, and looking forward to NBTSC which is only a few weeks after I get back to the states! Yikes! —Marina Reply

I'd love to hear what you think of Romania! Are you traveling, volunteering, studying...? Which part of the country? —CaitliN
*I'm in Brasov, which is in Transylvania, which is beautiful. I'm volunteering teaching drama, which is pretty awesome. The program I'm in gives me a lot of time to explore and travel and stuff too, which is great. I really like Romania so far. —Marina

**That sounds seriously sweet. Brasov was so green and happy and beautiful when I was there. Is this a Projects Abroad program by any chance? —CaitliN

I'm meeting a new person, and they sound beautiful and wonderful and I really want them to be how they sound... But I'm taking a pocket knife anyway. *laughs* I feel really good tonight. Excited. Hoping the bubble doesn't burst. However, I don't want to be blind to something dangerous because I'm butterflies-struck. Meeting people is far too stressful. I don't like living in a world where I feel I should take a pocket knife with me to meet a new person... This post is so random. Proof I need sleep. Up in 6 hours, such a busy day. So excited, trying to stay calm. A probably too bouncy to sleep, CeCi Reply

Life plan has solidified. I'm moving to Eugene or Portland in early July. Probably Eugene. New York was an option but has now been vetoed. My friend Theo's moving with me. We may bike there. I'm goanna see a therapist for awhile before I go to talk about my tendency to have suicidal break downs every few months or so.(Near suicidal I guess, since I am still alive typing this.) Now that I'm sane again I'm all Naaah, I would rather not see a shrink mum. Mum: Think of it as preventative medicine, Cassia. You can work out a plan to deal with this the next time it happens. Just fucking do it okay? I'll pay. Writing a story a day again. Still can't learn behind the back weave, but I am this close *holds fingers together* Adore Ray Bradbury's stories. Reply

CassiaLuna Reply

As you may have heard, Northern California is once again on fire. I didn't have anything to do with this one either, I assure you. Reply

While this fire is much closer to Santa Cruz, which is where most norcal camper's are centered around, none of us or our homes are directly in danger. Cassiopia's mother's house may be evacuated, my family is playing host to a few evacuees, but as far as I know camper's aren't effected other then that. Reply

-Harper Reply

Really? That's news to me.... *glances side ways* That shows how much time I've spent here recently huh? *picks up Lucky* *Glances into middle distance suspiciously.* I swear I didn't start this one... I just tried to roast marshmellows on it. Sadly, the police didn't agree that that was a very clever idea and told me to go home. As far as I know the only person that we collectively know who's got much to worry about is Adam

CassiaLuna Reply

Tomorrow is my 19th birthday, and camp is in about 2 1/2 months, and after camp, my lovely lovely boyfriend (who I just celebrated our 7 month anniversary with) will be moving in with me. He'll be sleeping in that bed, right there! You can't see it, but I can, because it's in my house, and I'm in my house, and soon he'll be in my house, which will be OUR house, ALL OF THE TIME! *breathes* Can you tell that I'm pretty excited? If you can't, I'm pretty excited! Also, it looks like I'm almost definitely going to be going to college & getting my degree where I've wanted to go for a while, which is really awesome. (Of course, I'm going to miss the first week of every course because of camp, which will suck a lot and result in a lot of catching up, but whatever, it's camp. It's worth it.) Life is good and I am busybusybusy and excited to just be alive. —Cassia Reply

Attention all east coasters! (And anyone else if you feel like taking a road trip) I will be touring around New England with Circus Smirkus from June 28th to August 16th. Here's the schedule: http://smirkus.org/htm/tour/tourschedule.html If you can you should come see me! It would be great to see some familiar faces along the way. And it'll be an awesome show. So come! ~Arne (who else?) Reply

YAAAAAAAY! You know I'll be at one, if not more, and I'll try and drag Zephyr along for at least one as well. —Cassia
Let's go together! -Anna

Oh, absolutely. —Cassia

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I fly back to Tucson in two days. My warm orange room is now bare and empty, my suitcases are once again on the floor filled with more things than I really need. I'm getting better and better at not having a lot of shit. I'm giving a garbage bag of clothes, books and shoes to a thrift store tomorrow, but I still feel like I shouldn't have this much stuff. Anyways...I don't want to be going back...I'm home for a week before I take off on a two week road trip with my roommate, and I feel that that week would be enough, not two whole summer monthes. I originally planned to stay in Leeds for the summer, but there were work permit issues and the fact that the lease on my house doesn't start till Sept. So back to Tucson until Sept. Ugh. But I am greatly looking forward to seeing my familia!! :) —Bean Reply

I feel like puking and crying and being happy at the same time. My estranged (8 years to date I haven't spoken more than 2 words to him) brother's fiance (who had a baby 1 month ago) sent me a myspace message asking me if I wanted to think about setting family issues aside and meeting her and Truan... My nephew. Reply

To quote Juno, this is way beyond my maturity level. Reply

Bajesus. Reply

—Molly Reply

Thursday/Ruth here, checking in. Haven't been posting on wiki much for the last while. I started in a new school after Easter. *sigh* I don't want to be in school, but I do want to end up in university, and I tried doing the Leaving Cert by correspondence and it wasn't going to be any better, so there you go. Anyway, I get my summer holidays in two days and then in two years I'm free. Still, though, I wish I had this time while I was still sixteen and seventeen, a) not in school and b) in Dublin, not here in Cloughjordan (we moved to the country last summer). Or at least one or the other. I also had hoped to go to NBTSC this year, and I could, I suppose, but I'd be afraid I'd get all filled with unschoolery goodness and then sad sad regret that I don't have any time for real life. Plus I'd only be able to do Oregon S1, and at that time of year I should probably be getting ready for school anyway. Argh. Not my usual optimistic self these days! On a happier note, does anyone have any fabulous tips to add to the PARTIES page? I'm a lot further on in my party-throwing career than I was when I created it, but I want to step up a notch now. :D Love and apologies for whinging, —Thursday Reply